Screwed up again...

Yes, I screwed up again. I am so depressed. I am already depressed and today just heaped on more. I am having all I can do to type these word. I always try to help my partner and it never works out lately. Between everything else that is going on in my brain and body, I have this too. She always tells me not to worry about it, but I do anyway, because should she get mad at me down the road, I will have to relive the screw up again. Plus all the other screw ups I've done. I just don't know what to do anymore. I am going to try to talk to her again about this. I don't know if I will get anywhere, but at least I tried. We have been making strides in our relationship, but we have a ways to go. More so on my part than hers. I don't know how to communicate very well or with everything that goes in my mind. She wants to know everything I am thinking every minute of every day. I am in a non-communitive mood these days. I don't want to talk. I have been getting flustered when I talk. I start stumbling over my words. What is this all about? I don't know. I am struggling so much with the depression and the molestation/rape and the flashbacks, I can't handle anymore. My stomach has been bothering me. My blood sugars have been too high when I check them. I have been forgetting to do the insulin at night once in awhile. I can't afford to do that. I have to go for now. The tears are once again starting to flow.