Diary Entries for AntonioG

The crook mind

AntonioG

After all I went through along the last 3 years (since diagnosed) it's a miracle I'm not always depressed. If not a miracle, certainly is a side effect of my manic mind. Or better, a crook mind.

While I feel crooked by myself as it's kind of difficult to find one thing to make me happy the truth is I can achieve happiness from time to time. And that's, again, a joke of my crook mind.

Besides this point of view, I rather be happy for a while then unhappy forever, a [...]

Cracked again.

AntonioG

After a few energetic days (with lack of sleep and poor quality of it) here it is: I cracked again. Today slept most morning arriving at work work with some 3 hours late. Grrrrrr. And a new cycle maybegin: for about one week I'll be sleeping poorly until I crack again and have to sleep some 11 or 12 hours.

The worse is that this is all happening with a new dosage of Lyrica, which is the sleep stabilizer I'm in and a few more changes in my meds. Damn!

Just afraid one day, [...]

I am feeling really great. I could even fly (rest: not going to try it out)

AntonioG

Today I woke up a bit latter than usual. Yesterday was one of those 13hrs straight of work at job and I ended just exhausted. Pity that things are not anymore like in the good old days, when dealingwith these amount of workload was just second nature for me.

Anyway, I rested enough, woke up with a very good mood and feeling really great, with no special reason for it. As I'm taking some anti-depressive meds, just hope this is not one of those shifts in mood that takes me from depres [...]

New Meds on the Block / Hypocrisy

AntonioG

1. Today gonna try for the thousandth time a new sleep-as-a-baby solution for my sleeping problems. My Pdoc prescribed me a new med (new for me). It's called Lyrica (how lyric... if it really putsme at a nice soft sleep then it'll be plain lyric poetry...). Don't know if in US the brand name is the same, but if anyone had been on this thing, I'd appreciate your comments about it. Let's see.

2. Yesterday (my second day on this thing, the MD-what-so-ever) and on [...]

Working around my sleeping problems.

AntonioG

I usually have sleeping problems (like any other BPer, I guess). When hypomaniac or maniac, I can sleep for only 3 hours each night, weeks after weeks after weeks. When depressed I can sleep all day around. When in balance I usually sleep about 8 hours. But there's something common to all these sleeping patterns: my sleep is of bery bad quality. I just can't rise up and say: Wow, tonight I rested quiet well! I've done 2 sleep studies with almost the same results: my brain don't g [...]

Today is only today

AntonioG

Today I found this site. Just wanted to google some answers to my problems driving this BP stuff and my at work duties. Till now, I found some very warm people, nice vibe and no answers (well, not entirelytrue. By advice of a member, I now have a warm lightbulb on my desk that's helping me with the surrounding fluorescent and cloudy light issues). But you know what? I've been working around my today's at job problems by doing no work at all (until now). And the best is that I f [...]