thdmsulvt's diary

I feel so useless.  How are they ever going to be able to effectively evaluate me in early January?  I no longer work with supervisors.  I now work with brand new employees who are beingtrained.  I am not involved in their training anymore.  I am not allowed to do half of my job because the new trainer wants the new employees to do it all and learn it quick. 

It gets slow in the evening.  I have been scrubbing everything in site.  I am always a hard worker and very productive (except THEY say I am not.)  All the other employees are sitting on the computer doing personal stuff at night unless they is something that specifically needs to be done, however the checklist that is suppose to be completed daily is completely ignored by them.  I am doing all of the dishes, all of the laundry, I start treatments and then everyone wants to help but I really don't need it for the small amount of treatments needed at that time of day.  I am doing the entire checklist.  No one has even said-hey slow down, you are making us look bad.

When they took me off my primary position they put a veterinary assistant that was just hired, into my position.  It did not work out.  (Originally I was told she was hired so she could be a help to me but she was still being trained on days I did not work and never once was able to help me before they demoted me.)

So now, they are taking a technician student who works midnights, and giving her my old position and hiring a new technician to work the midnight shift.   The veterinary assistant will now be helping the technician  student instead of me and she is going to be able to show me up immensely.

The new girl training doesn't want me to help with  the hands on training.  The hands on training has always been something that anyone could help with.  The training coordinator position that was stripped away from me is totally a different job.   She has two new girls she is trying to train at once, and even during slow times she told me she didn't  think she needed me. So during slow times, she is just chit chatting with everyone and doing nothing to train them .  She is also doing a lot of sink or swim type of training.  She is involved a little but she left both of them to do complicated treatments while she and I helped a doctor in another room.  The girls weren't trained well enough, especially if something critical came in suddenly.  I told her I thought she should stay in the ICU and send one of the other girls with me since the doctor has requested I go and have someone help me.  She said no, they needed to be able to do the treatments by themselves.  But she wasn't watching them to be sure they knew what they were doing.  Then the doctor told us that one of us needed to stay in the ICU, and she went back and had one of the other girls come to help me. I told the doctor that I had also told her that.

So I will have another review in a few months and I  do not know who is going to be evaluating me and on what basis.  Not productive enough?  In my primary position and this position I never, ever sit down and I don't stop working.  My productivity is constant.   I could never sit down on the internet and just play around, while I was getting paid.

If I get a really good review I will actually be angry because I have not changed and any good review will be based on absolutely no change.  I told them at the last review I had a remarkable improvement and I told them how I felt I had improved (I was literally a walking Zombie from brain fog.  I was making so  many mistakes.  My doctor even looked me in the face and requested I do something once, and I stared at her blankly and had no idea what she had just asked me to do.  She totally got that I had no reaction and the "lights were off", yet I am back to  my normal self and was told there wasn't enough improvement. )

I have very little technical things that I can do.  I keep asking if I can help and I am told no.  I told the girl that does the scheduling (who I think was the person that gave me bad reports whom I never worked with before) that I feel like an overpaid janitor because there is nothing for me to do.  She said there is nothing she can do about it.  I just need to float and do what ever needs to be done (I.E. dishes, an occasional treatment etc.)