i know stress is a huge enemy and it seems lately that the more i do to ease the stress the worse it gets. sometimes i don't think it is worth all of the work to try to get better. the rollercoasterjust seems to be moving faster with more turns and loops and i just want to get off it and get back on solid ground

ok i finally signed up with the yahoo messanger terihayes67 is my new name. please feel free to yell.

a funny thing happened to me this morning while surfing the fibro site. i discovered that i was no longer a member. ooops how did that happen? anyway, having an ok day so far, getting ready for big snowstorm.

i absolutely hate the rollercoaster ride of emotions. just when i think i can deal with this now i find out that the rest of the effects of this disease were just sitting back doing pushups so it can take another round out of me. one day i feel confident that the meds are all working, I can sort of function and allmost think. all good stuff and then something stupid happens and i can't figure out why i bother trying. the meds are still working and i feel ok physicaly but because of some stupid word or event i no longer think it is woth the bother to try to get on with life. at least riding this roller coaster i know that it will change if i just hang on.

today is i think the worst day i've seen i think. i don't know why but i am so angery that i feel like could trash everything. i hate everyone and want to scream. iam so scattered today that ican't even write. i just ant it to all go away.

     to much fun yesterday is killing me today. i have had a charlie horse in my calf since 4 this morning to go along with the rest of the fibro garbage. oh well take the inbetweendrugs and go to bed.................

     today i was able to live almost a normal life. I wrestled pigs and actually drove the truck out of town. It felt good for a change. my mind almost works and i ran with the wholething all day. I wasn't even to tired to move. I know that it is a rear thing at least for me but, it sure felt good. I just won't count on it lasting.

     today has been a better day for me. i am still in pain but not as bad. my stupid moments are just that, moments. I have actually been able to acomplish a couple of chores todayand that is good for my self esteem. I am useing the internet more for therapy now so i maybe can stay a little sharper and i have a tough time reaching out. so many times i've been called a hypochondriac and i started to believe it. I am also learning that it is ok to have bad days and that i can gently ride the good ones. i am so greatfull for people that understand. unless you have it you can't understand it.    thank you all

today it is like everything is against me the copd,anxiety,depression, the fibro just makes it all come together. and now i also have to get used to being stupid, because that is one of the effects ofsomething.

today i am angry, i'm fourty years old and have copd with chronic pneumonia and plurasy. i haven't had time enough to earn it on my own. it came from my fathers jobs...............today i am angery