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Jul 15
2008
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Debbie was just recently diagnosed with ASD. I knew it was coming and although, she is on the higher functioning end of the spectrum, it did not make the diagnosis any easier for me.
Most times Debbie is fine. One of the things that can send her into a tantrum is the sound of clapping. That means simple things like birthday parties are a nightmare. We recently went on a cruise and the wait staff sang "Happy Birthday" six (I'm not exaggerating) times. It was awful! I was smacked, yelled at, and spit on. Today, I took Debbie to my son Joey's Karate practice. At the end of the session several awards were given out. All was well until the clapping started. Debbie actually broke skin when she was biting me. The worst part is that she can say, "I don't want clapping," or "I don't like clapping." Yet, she always manages to revert to horribly embarrassing tantrums.
I love my daughter very much. My husband and I have been through the ringer with her. She is two years in remission of a Wilm's Tumor. However, when she tantrums so horribly, I am frustrated, embarrassed, and wish she were normal! If you ever feel the same way as I do, please let me know. I feel so terribly lonely sometimes and I know that I am not the only parent who feels this way.
Julie
written by luvmyguys, July 17, 2008
I can relate to your situation. Our son is 3 1/2 and was diagnosed with autism last summer and also has hearing loss in both ears (which is another adventure).
I understand how you feel when your child acts differently in public. My son likes to make some unusual sounds especially when we are grocery shopping. He likes to make a "hooting" sound... a customer nearby inquired if there was an owl in the store. I laughed yet felt embarrassed. I am now learning that he wants me to focus on him and to get him involved when shopping so I have him help put the groceries in the cart and his stimmy sounds stop and he doesn't tantrum.
Definitely frustrating and totally understand about feeling lonely and wishing your child to be "normal". I have a friend with a typical child and she seems to have no problem making new friends. I don't have too many since I am exhausted each day and am lacking in confidence with parenting a special needs child.
My husband's best friend even tried giving him tips on how to be a better, more confident father. Needless to say, this was not helpful at all and made my husband feel incompetent.
Raising a special needs child is so different that a "normal" child and has more challenges, but we become better and stronger parents. Think of all of the new skills we will have...each challenge brings on new learning experiences usually creative ones.
Take Care and feel free to drop a line,
Nikki