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benf"I came to MDJunction looking for answers I had about being Bipolar. a friend was suffering from this and I wanted to understand what it was. the more questions I had ,the more I learned how to deal with my own issues, PTSD,Depression,insomnia just to name a few. the people I have meet here have become more than friends, they have become family.
I have gone from "yes I need help" to "how can I try to help you?" I am so grateful for all the help and support the members have given me here, I am glad I can return the favor by being one of the many great group Leaders. ( benf)
" (benf)

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Shauna81 Starting my online diary to help me cope with my new diagnosis.


Field Time

Mar 05 2012
So John just left about an hour ago for a few days. Its the first time weve been apart really aside from the court order since he got back. I dont feel stable enough to be alone right now. I dont knowwhat it is, the uncertainty of everything maybe. IDK. But I know my nerves are shot and all I have done is cried since he left. What is wrong with me??? Im scared that even though hes going to be gone for only a few days I may screw up and do something wrong. What if I have a drink, what if I just hop in my car and run home. I feel like my mind wonders so much right now and Im so unstable that I cant make decisions for myself right now because Im making them on impulse. Until I learn the tools to deal with the mood swings I feel like I need John here to help me right now. I know I cant have him and I know I have to be strong. Im just so sad this morning... 

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