|Aug 04 2010|
Having another bad day. Weighed myself 3 times already...it's 8am. WTH am I doing? Why am I doing this to myself. I am smart, I know what I'm doing is wrong. ButI'm deathly afraid of getting fat. If I eat to gain weight it all goes to fat in my stomach. I'm taking all of medication and my doctor even put me on some stuff that he said would improve my appetite...but it hasn't. I gained 2 lbs in a week, but now I won't go back, because I'm afraid I have gained more weight and I don't want to see that. I know I'm depressed, but I'm taking double meds now. NO MORE MEDS. They make me feel tired.
I wished my husband would tell me he loves me. Right now I feel NO ONE does. I have no family, no trustworthy friends, nobody..but this diary. Really if I wither away...no one would notice or care. Later Sohpia.
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