|Jun 09 2012|
I haven't been on this sight since I had my son, Carter. He turned a year old in April. I'd love to say his father has found the strength in his son that he did not have in himself to fighthis addiction. I'd love to say CJ is close to Carter. I'd even love to say he made it to his first birthday. But I can't. CJ has not changed. He sees Carter once every few months, and never calls to see how he is. He missed his first birthday (didn't call, nothing). The last time CJ saw Carter, his parents were having a BBQ. While we were all outside, CJ's girlfriend went into my purse and stole all my money (about $60). I didn't know this until I got home. I called CJ about it, but he wasn't too concerned. He was already high because they had gone and got drugs with my money. It's sad that this happens, and makes me extremely angry because I told them how expensive Carter's medication is. I guess getting high is more important than keeping his son alive.
It's okay, though. We'll be just fine. Carter is a happy, smart, funny boy. I am so lucky to have him in my life. Being a single mother is difficult. We have a little two-bedroom apartment, but it's just big enough for the two of us. I work full-time, and am currently taking online classes. In 3 years I should have my Bachelor's degree in human resources. Carter pushes me to be successful, and I will accomplish all my goals for him. It's overwhelming at times, and frustrating that I'm doing it all alone, but it's better doing it alone than with a drug addict.
I've learned to let go of CJ's life. Everytime I get angry with him, I remind myself that it is not my battle. This is not my battle. It's his.
I'd also like to add how much I love this website. You are all amazing people and have helped me through my struggles. I felt so alone when I was pregnant. My friends had no idea what I was dealing with. Discussing my problems with people who have been there really helped me through it, and I thank you all for that. :)
I pray for peace in your hearts & happiness in your lives.
The truth comes out.
Rainbows disappear whenever you get near.
The Need To Vent.
A Change In His Voice
I don't even want him to call tonight...
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