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Yvonne802 The Gospel according to Yvonne

296.54 Bipolar I Disorder, Most Recent Episode Depressed, Severe With Psychotic Features

Jan 23 2009
That was me on Monday.  Seems like there should be more to me than a bunch of numbers but these numbers follow me wherever I go.   I am not so much depressed now as blah.  I wonderif there is a code for bipolar I disorder most recent  episode blah.  Thats how I feel.  Nothing makes me smile yet nothing makes me cry.  I should be stable now then right? But no I am not.  I am blah, lifeless and dull.  I want to get better but maybe this is as good as I can expect.  How do I know if this is as good as its going to get?  How do I know if it can ever get better?  I have been there before but even then did I feel good?  I can't remember anymore.  My mind is like a sieve, full of holes.  I can't think clearly and my memory is shot.   I can't concentrate at all and I feel like I just exist, not living at all.  I want to know the answer to all of my questions yet deep down I think I already know.  I will never feel right again.

Previous diary posts by Yvonne802:
Comments (2)Add Comment
written by MissMay1977, January 23, 2009
written by grafxbydiane, January 24, 2009
aww yvonne just take the days as they come and try to things for yourself each day that will lift your spirits . I am here for you

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