I cant keep going . . .

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Smile - Kiera18's Diary
	I tend to keep my head up no matter how hard my life may get. Its hard to smile but i have ti stay strong for those who aren't. So this is how i feel. The thing i go threw. MY personal feelings. 100% HONEST && BLUNT. This is ALL ABOUT ME

Jun 27

2008

I cant keep going . . .

FUCK. rite know i am having another anxiety attack. Plus one moment ago i was smiling && know i am the total opposite (bi-polar). How could he hurt meso much. My own flesh and blood. and try to bye back my love with money ETC. W T F and i know that telling my mother was a HUGE step for me BUT, i don't even know how i have made it this far. AND I've never been so scared in my life to confront someone. My g-ma i hope she will believe me. And if she doesn't i will just keep living. I am most scared of how its going to affect her. She just lost her mother Rip 6-3-08 and know this. How is she going to take it. && im just so afraid her reaction and what shes going to do. FUCK my heart && my head is in so much pain. ~~WAT 2 DO WAT 2 DO!?!~~

Comments (2) Add Comment

you don't always have to be strong
written by zinnia, June 27, 2008

hi-i know how it feels to always have to be the strong one and smile when you're crying for real. you don't have to do that. telling your mom was such a big thing for you, obviously. give yourself some time to tell your g'ma. nothing has to happen immediately. you're obviously feeling not so strong right now, so wait until it's a little easier for you. i'm really hard on myself, too, and it's something i've really had to work on-cutting myself some slack-to stay healthy.

peace and love to you-
z.

...
written by hannah08, June 27, 2008

I know you may feel like you want to get it over with and tell your grandma, but it does not sound like emotionally you are ready. I am afraid that if you go through with this, regardless of the outcome it may be a set back to your healing. I know you are used to being strong, but the panic attacks are a sign that your overwhelmed. I applaud your bravery in telling your mom, but perhaps now, for a little while, maybe you could focus on counseling and confront your grandmother lately. I am so sorry this happened to you so try to worry about making you strong and taking care of you...you deserve it.

hannah

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