Diary Entries for shaz66

household is getting bigger

shaz66

My nephew, and his stepfather havenot been getting along ( thats an understatement) long story short I invited him to move in with us, in an effort to save my sisters marriage. He is 17 soon to be 18, and is a senior in highschool.

So far everything has been going well. He has been a great houseguest. he has been trying to get a job, but it isn't as easy as one would hope.

My daughter is doing well, and my husband is very accepting of the situation. We will see how things go. [...]

Doing well

shaz66

I am recovering well from hysterectomy. I actually feel fine, still supposed to take it easy for a few more weeks though. I have a tiny hormone patch that I put on twice a week, and that is it.

I finally got the back pay from social security, and I am hoping the payments arrive at regular intervals now. This has been such a relief. We are finally able to enjoy life a little more, and not be so stressed, and anxious all the time.

My Nephew who will be 18 in two months is coming to [...]

Hysterectomy

shaz66

On thursday I went to the hospital to hafe my hysterectomh donel I am still in pain today. I umagine I will be for a few more days. My Husband took off work to look after me. I havewanted to get one for years. So it's a big relief to have it over with.

I was really scared prior to the surgery. I am so glad it all went smoothly. It seems like life is starting to do a 180 things are getting so much better. Now I need to quit smoking and lose70 lbs. then I [...]

Approved

shaz66

On August 10th I went before the ALJ again, my attorney was very pessimistic. He really thought we wouldn't prevail. He had said before that we have a very tough judge, then we find out that thepsycholigist going to be there is a bad choice for us. The attorney said he doubts he would even cross examine him, because he just makes you look foolish.

Well at the hearing the psychologist had all my records, and had organized them by date, correlating between regular md, pdoc etc. As he [...]

This last week has been a doozy

shaz66

My husband has for the last few years been irritable, and short tempered. It has really upset me, especially when he directs it toward my daughter. She is going to be 14 soon, and as had some crushingdisapointments in her life. Her bio father has disowned her within the last year. Prior to that he was mostly absentee, except for 15 months when she tried living with him and his wife. They promised her everything. Once the papers were signed, the abuse started. I got her back, put her in counci [...]

Wierd week

shaz66

My sister and her family left. I got the house straigtend out. Made my daughter an appointment to go for a riding lesson. She was absoluetly ecstatic about that before, and after.

I have beenvery annoyed with my husband. It seems like he is always so negative. Yesterday I had a panic attack, because he kept going on about the child support we aren't getting. Harping on the father changing jobs all the time, refusing to see his daughter, being secretive about where he lives, and work [...]

Family Visit

shaz66

My sister, her husband, and two children came to visit last week. I had been having panic attacks the two weeks prior to them coming, some brought on by my husband constantly wanting everything perfectwhen they got here. The day they were due to arrive I was as calm as can be. My husband was surprised by that.

Our house is a 3 bedroom, no guest room, so my daughter gave up her bed to the adults and slept in the living room with her cousins, it was a bit crowded. But we managed.

We [...]

Got an IRS enevelope in the mail today.

shaz66

When I went to check the mail today there was a bulky envelope from the IRS. My First thought was Oh Shit!, My second that was I am so screwed. I pened it up carefully, and I see the part where it says I owe 6k for 2008. I was like Oh Crap! I kept rereading the papers, lots of information that is not pertinent in there. Finally gave up trying to figure it out, and called the IRS. Took awhile to get a person. But once I did, she was very helpful. She told me to throw away the papers that were [...]

Peaceful

shaz66

I am amazed at how quiet it is without my daughter here. She will be back on the 18th, and I will be glad to see her. I have missed the little brat. Things at home are going ok.

Of coursemoney is always an issue. In two months I go to court for SSD again. I hope they approve it immediately, so I don't have to wait months for a decision.

For some reason lately I haven't been sleeping through the night. I go to bed at 10 or 11, and wake up somewhere between 1 and 3 am. [...]

My Daughter is going on an outing

shaz66

Today is a good day, simply bccause my daughter is going on an outing with the people affiliated with the behavioral care center. She goes once a week. They always do something fun for the kid(s) swimming, arcade, movies, lots of stuff.

It also gives me a break. They also try to talk to her about whats going on in her life, how she could handle things differently and so forth.

So today I am feeling pretty good. trying not to worry about SSD, and just enjoy the day. Going to [...]

Not so great today.

shaz66

Because we only have one car, I try to make as many appointments as I can in one day. So I took my Husband to work at 8.30, went to buy flipflops for my daughter, took her to her counseling sessionat 10, dropped her off at home. Talked to her G'ma about missing Dad. Left to go to 1 pm appt. with Attorney. Had a 2:15 appt with Eye Dr. Had my eyes dilated so when I left the office at 4 rather than drive home and back 15 miles round trip. I waited 2 hours for my husband to get off.

I h [...]

Better Today

shaz66

I finally took someones advice, and exercised some. I walked one mile on the treadmill. I plan to increase that amount over time. I felt pretty good after that, and swept,and mopped the floors. Cleanedone bathroom. Even though I said I wasn't making dinner. I ended up making Fajitas.

I am still feeling pretty good. Usually I have a ritual of trying to accomplish one productive thing a day. It helps me from feeling totally useless. I also think it keeps me from falling into a worse d [...]

depressed again

shaz66

Lately I have been feeling pretty down. saw my pdoc yesterday and he upped my lamictal, he said it has to be done slowly. I am also crampy, and have low back pain, and a headache.

My Husbanddoesn't like me coming to this website, he is afraid I will find another man or something. He was especially annoyed when I tried to download the chat feature. When we got married we both agreed that we would not go into chat rooms. Well he plays online games where people chat, so I don't se [...]

Tuesday. angry still

shaz66

Today started out pretty good, woke up early after going to bed early the night before. I was crampy, but in a decent mood most of the day. Recently I started joining different forums on herethat pertain to me, or my family. Usually not a problem. But today I came across a post that I read that made me really angry, on someone elses behalf. It's not a very busy forum, so I didn't check it too often. but for some reason I did today. I think it might be best to stay to the B [...]

Feeling Better Today

shaz66

Today I am feeling better, and I am very thankful for that. Tomorrow is my Husbands birthday. We are not planning much due to finances. Yesterday my daughter graduated middle school, and is on vacation. We went to the ceremony, it was held in the Gym. It was so hot in there, and crowded. Was there almost two hours. I felt like bolting after the first 15 minutes.

They had cake and punch in the cafeteria afterwards, while my daughter went to that, we went outside to get some air. I went b [...]

Depressed, and tired of waiting

shaz66

I have beeen feeling depressed yesterday, and today. I think what triggered it was the speeding ticket, and then the next daymy husband saying don't spend a dime, as there isn't much left in checking. So between the two I think I was triggered. I called and asked my sister for money to pay the rest of my daughters camp, and she is sending it. I really love her. She has always been there for me, and vice versa.

I have been waiting for SSD for so long. It almost s [...]

Last week of school

shaz66

This is the last week of school. next year my daughter will be in High School. She has two weeks of going away to camp, and family visiting for a week. I hope I can keep her busy the rest of the time, and not on the computer.

I have been feeling ok. I still need to really quit smoking , and lose weight. Somehow I need to just get motivated to start. The first step seems to be the hardest. I really hate to give things up, or go through withdrawel. I know all the pros and cons, and that s [...]

todays not over yet.

shaz66

This week my daughters class went on a 3 day field trip. They are staying in a nice hotel going to a fancy restaurant. Going to the aquarium, etc. Unfotuntaely we couldn't afford to pay the 350 dollars the trip cost. So I told my daughter that I would let her stay home those three days, being it wasn't her fault she couldn't go with her class, and why should she be punished because we couldn't afford it?

Unfortunately, my Daughter bragged to anyone who would l [...]

Sunday

shaz66

Today my family and I went to church, it started off terrible. My Daughter wanted to go to a different church. that was some distance away, to hear a friend of hers sing. Our service was at 9 the otherservice was at 11. We easily could have done both. I told her I would take her, and she started complaing about going to our home church. I told her to stop whining, or I wasn't gonna take her. During the short distance to church, all she did was complain. This is not my church, I hate this [...]

Court Date Scheduled

shaz66

Today I called attorneys office, and found out I have a court date scheduled! I am so excited to have a date, I have been waiting what seems like forever for this second court date. It isn't tillAugust, but at least I have a date. The testing the Judge ordered gave me a GAF of 50. That is about what everyone else has said. Normal I.Q. and all that. So thats the big news. Things have been going a little bit better at home. I still feel lazy, with little motivation. I have not b [...]