saddness

I started to draft a letter to my "drug" son about the fact I am seeing the ex fiance.  to tell him, I want you to know straight up.

 what I find is that I want to tell himoff.  I want to tell him how horribly disgusted I am about the things I know he has said, and how he has treated her.  But, I know I probably cannot do that because at this point, they could get back together...then I am in the outs with both?  so, no, but, how could I have raised such an abuser?  I think she said he pushed her against a wall...something....I really did not want to hear it, so did not encourage hearing it.

I already know he changes facts to fit what makes him look good.  I do not believe he is not "using", as he has gotten others to believe he is not.  But, it does not seem to me that way.

I sure want others to know, if you have a young kid, and you are married to someone who mistreats you....do not do what I did.  I questioned myself. I thought well, it must be ME.  Afterall, when you have parents that have made you feel you are a little snotty girl, you tend to believe these core feelings.   Well, lots of times, many times, it is just not TRUE.   We picked someone who felt familiar to be with...even if it was someone who mistreated us right from the start because THAT was a familiar feeling.

So, do not question yourself.  Otherwise, in 25 years, you will possibly be like me, and have your kids start behaving horribly to women!   my son behaves horrible to just about anyone from what I gather, unles....unless it is all his way.   He is actually seeming to me that he is so much worse than my ex husband (his father!!).    He probably likes being with his dad, since his dad totally supports his behavior, and his dad told the ex-fiance off just like a little kid....For God's sake, this is your 26 year old son's issue....why do YOU need to get involved and dirty in the ditch with these kids. 

Stay out of it, but no, not him...they both appear to thrive on drama, and I do not, not any longer.  I got out of that triangle or circle of drama, and just cannot tolerate it, even from women friends.   If too high maintenance, you are history!  even if you are decent/nice.   

anyway, back to work, hahahaha!!!!