| May 10 2008 |
Color my World: Chicago. SAD SAD....thus was my wedding song.
they hardly ever play it on radio stations, and when I hear it it takes me right back to that day in 1976. Gee. Do our minds play tricks on us or what? Just makes me remember my innocence and the hope I had for my future.
ok, song is over. Whew!!!
anyway, I took my mom to get groceries and I was a bit short with her. I got there and wanted to go without her, and she said: well, can't I go with you...and was dressed more appropriately too. but...I did not want to take her. I wanted to get in and out. poor lady....she has to tread behind me because she just shuffles when she walks, and looks down at the ground to ensure where she steps, and I am just a bad bad daughter for these thoughts. God. Why? Why God. Why is this part of my path? Why all of it?
It is ok, I will get over this, but some days, I get this way. Sad. my sons are not in my life, my mom is not who she was. she is old, she is feeble, and mentally not quite right. not bad, not good. I remember how she used to take such pains and strive to look so nice. I know when people are in pain, and cannot see well either, that they don't really attempt it anymore anyway. I know now because of my pain with my injury. I can barely bed some times.
I know it is hard getting old. I know our society just does not care for our elderly with respect and admiration like they should. they are disposable old people with no more purpose. And if we live long enough, it will be the same for us...people look right thru you when you are elderly. They would just as soon knock you over to get outta their way when you are slow moving and crippled and old. It is just sad. Our society is too fast paced and too self centered many times. Just depressing thoughts today.
written by cinderella, May 10, 2008
i also get cranky when people shove you too get passed rather than politely being patient. who really cares anymore and i mean you think you should at least be able to rely on family to help instead of being ashamed of being seen with the frail or elderly member of family. i would hope that my kids have some respect, i guess im lucky as my kids dont seem to be ashamed to be seen with me as yet and i am truely hoping they never are. 
written by sallie, May 11, 2008
written by Suz, May 11, 2008
You're a caretaker, and you want some time to yourself to go shopping. That your Mom wants to go puts a crimp in that--we can all understand how you would want that space. That our loved ones deteriorate before our eyes isn't a kindness to us and hurts. But I thank you for caring for your Mom.
I have an adult son who won't be seen with me because I am permanently disabled with back damage and in an electric scooter--he doesn't think it is cool to be seen with disabled people. I don't see him any more because he is just another example of intolerant people and I don't want negative people around me. So he's lost me until he changes his ways and its really his loss in the end. Unfortunately, no all family is supportive and that's another fact of life.
written by sallie, May 11, 2008
as for your son...I wish it were different. that is pretty bad...I can empathize. I am not disabled (thank God and I do every day because I know how quickly something can happen to any of us) and I understand today being sorrowful for you...re: your son, and your Mom. Gosh.
