|Oct 28 2009|
That's where I'm at,who cares? I don't want anyone to care about me,cuz the way I am now, I don't deserve it, can't respond to it. Only one to change this wretched life isme, and I have no motivation. I see no end to this despair. I hate every minute. I should be blasted to hell, considering all the blessings I have. And yet I can't feel or appreciate them. I just want to be done. My life has no purpose or meaning. I am worthless to all who love me.
Third day off Geodon, can't decide if I'm better or worse. No anxiety really for a few days. The depression is God awful. I don't even know why I'm writing, I just drivel the same misery. I really hate myself. Yet I don't change.
The end for now!
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Why does everything have to be so damned hard?
what I've dealt with so far...
It all came flooding back!
Life can kick you in the butt