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Reggie's

A place to vent

Not sure what to do...

May 04 2010

I am not sure where to go from here. I can't seem to get a job. I am not lazy. I am not stupid. I just feel broken.

I need help. I haven't been able to do this by myself. I want to think I am strong enough, but this is too much. I just want to be okay. I want to just go out there and work. I have been successful at every job I have ever had, but something snapped and I can't even get a simple job as a cashier or something. I am so afraid of people. I'm really really afraid....

I break into a cold sweat, nausea, dizziness... It's so stupid. I know it is. I am not recovering on my own. I am not getting better, just worse. I need help. I need to talk. I need to heal and forget and forgive.

Where do I go with no money and no family? Where? Who do I talk to? What do I do?

Please.............................................................

Previous diary posts by Shinrah19:

Weight and Income
Still Working
Angry
Bored & Feeling a bit Down
Slow but Good Start

Second Chance
Still Trying
Trying to find home
Another shit time

Comments (2) Add Comment

written by PattiB, May 04, 2010

I don't come here much because I live in the bed these days but I will pray for you. Hugs

written by dixiehisle1, May 31, 2010

It sounds to me like you have come up with an anxiety syndrome. I am ADD and I feel the same way or somewhat about getting a job. I was a teacher off and on for 8 years. Now I'm an aide because I got hired at a new school at a higher grade level and though I taught the whole year they didn't renew my contract as a teacher but they hired me as a sp. ed. aide. It's a good job for me I guess but I long for the feeling I had when I was in control of my own classroom. I don't think I'll ever have my own class again plus the lady I work under is into having full control so I don't even have a mind of my own if you know what I mean. My self esteem has gotten pretty low again. Hope you feel better and get a job soon that you can be proud of. I'll pray for you.