|Apr 18 2011|
I am having a hard time with this. I mentioned in an earlier post that work is insane right now. I have worked no less than a 10 hour day for weeks now and sometimes working on the weekendstoo. I just feel like there is so much work I will never keep up. More and more is getting asked of me.
I am making mistakes. I have made 3 or 4 in the past couple weeks that I now have to correct (like paying the wrong person for someone else's bill). Stupid, embarassing mistakes because I am rushing so much to try to get it all done.
I feel guilty because I can't keep up with my personal email. I feel guilty because I haven't been on MDJ.
I am realizing all of this makes me feel "less than". Less than I should be, less than others expect of me, less than I need to be. What will my new boss think of me? Will he think he made a mistake in hiring me?
I think the danger in getting your self-esteem externally (and this job has been a real boost for me) is that when you don't do well, your self-esteem crashes. That's what is going on.
Confused Thoughts & Dark Days
I thought I was doing better...
Trust vs. Boundaries
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Well I Guess I will have to see
Out with the old; in with the new
when he comes back
Not sure how to title this update