Random Thoughts

This sweatshirt was given to me in san francisco when I was freezing my ass off, waiting to see my son while he was in the hospital.  I was only permitted 1 hour a day with him and had to findother things in the city to keep me occupied. The reason I was only permitted 1 hour a day was based on a false accusation and I dont feel like going into it at the moment. 

The color of the sweatshirt was actually a mauve-reddish color.  The pictures were taken in low level lighting in a neo-natal intensive care unit with a disposable camera that I bought.  This means that the color of the sweatshirt was darkened by the flash of the camera and that it was a cheap camera (all I could afford). 

The color of the sweatshirt was nothing like the color that emerged on the photos.  Not that this should matter as my primary concern was not the color of my sweatshirt, it was whether or not my son would live. 

The reason the lighting is bad in the neo-natal intensive care unit is that all the infants there are fighting for their life and dont need excessive lighting.  There are lots of times when there is very little light there.

Is it possible that you could stop over analyzing everything about me, all I wanted was to share pictures of my child as he was the best thing that ever happened to me.  An innocent being that hadn't been tainted by everyones greed and I was stoked about raising someone decent.  Now all Im left with is everyone fighting over my life and ive had enough of dirty rotten scoundrels.  If they were only the minority it wouldn't be as bad but the filth is all around me and Im sick of people fighting over things they have no business fighting over as IT WASN'T THEIRS TO FIGHT OVER.

Also......are you expecting me to not love my own child?  He's dead but sometimes I miss him.

I realize your still working overtime trying to get me committed, so as to nullify your own responsibility for what you've done to me.  (directed toward the money hungry bastards that want to claim my income).  I write in my journal all the time and also on this site.  In answer to your question, I actually dont want to kill myself but your low down dirty tactics of getting a portion of my life that didn't belong to you has me slightly confused on how to live a productive life without you cashing in on everything about me.  and dont tell me that you CARE about me when we all know its about the money and who gets to slave-drive me.

And to the other people....are you wanting me to help you pay your bills? I cant read your mind, you'd have to tell me that that is what you need from me and I wouldn't mind helping but I can be somewhat clueless at times so could you take the guess work out of it for me.

Copyrite November 1st, 2011 @ 10:24pm

Laci Issel

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