Random

Wow now that was a long weekend. Friday to this morning I havent been sober at all. Really needed that, but in a way really shouldnt have done it haha. Friday decided to smoke this synthetic stuff, itwas fun for a bit until I took wayyy too many hits and couldnt remember who I was, where I was at, and started blacking out. But atleast I got enoough sleep after that. Saturday decided to drink a bit, now usually a cheap bottle of wine is all I need but it didnt do anything, so I decided to drink this special tea and was gone. Sunday got to watch the rum diaries while drinking whiskey, never really had whiskey before until sunday and I love it. Went to bed about 8 this morning took 3 3mg time release melatonin because by the time I got up the stiars to the bed I was sober and completely awake. So I drank got tipsy then stayed up so long I got sober. Only got 4 hours of sleep and I can still feel the meds. But I dont feel like sleeping no not at all. Today was a weird day. For some reason I woke up real happy which was cool until I just started being a dick to my bf  saying I was sick of doing the same thing everytime I stay over at his house. Then I told him he was boring, too up tight, talks about the same damn things, and I can barely stand him. Then I left him, he came speeding down the road to ask why and I really didnt have an answer because I didnt really know what was going on. Yet I still said I didnt want to be with him. An hour or so later were fine because he talked to me, dont remember what the hell he said though. My friend ferret said shes gonna help with the whole impulse thing. I usually just about all the time dont exactly think I just do. Tried to go to pathways last thursday but my bf took too long getting ready and by the time we got there the walk ins were over with. So i'll try to see some other time.