well i know i havnt written in a while but my life has been full of things that have needed my full attension and well i had to choose and considering the severity of the family situations they hadto come first. My husband is fine just had minor whiplash from the accident thankfully!! My brother is back home with us and has to watched for 3 weeks and then have another catscan and medical before commencing work and or football (AFL) which he is totally spewing about... but such is life.

its been a week today since i last cut... ive been contemplating if i can keep going without the meds i seem to be taking vallium everyday now just to ease the anxiety and want to rip other people's head off their spines. So i fear the addiction to them is now comming into play.. wow another obsticle.. lucky me lol. i have to laugh because i havnt cried in months and i wont.. i have a healthy family a good life and amazing friends who really care about me i have nothing to be sad for so why am i?  thats the hardest thing to work out right now i think.. why do i still feel empty? what is it that i am needing and not getting???

I love this site i adore the family unit that our little group has created. They are so special and so sincere... i also miss my old friends you guys know who you are.. mum of two rugrats, Carmen , Blues man...

luckily though i know where to find you all ... her in my safe place where the world can not hurt me and the worst thing i can do is type spelling erroros...  well my bio mum and i still arnt talking (im actually enjoying the peace and quiet) mean i know but she needs to grow the hell up!!!!

I have the flu.... yeah... always nice... but eh such is life mine isnt as bad as some other people's here so suck it up princess huh...

take care and b safe guys!!! im always here some-where... just pm me and ill be here...