Always Something |
Oct 19 2010 |
I feel like the past 2 weeks it's always one thing after the next with Kyle. I'm constantly getting upset over something, and it's not each individual thing, it's all of them combined together that drives me up the wall. For example, when Kyle started working at the professors house as a text book editor, he mentioned on the first day that his (the professors) 19 year old daughter was in a bikini and he felt awkward about it. The next day or two I asked him if the guys daughter was there, and if she talked to him or anything and he said no that he doesn't really see her. A couple nights ago he's on the phone with another assistant that works there, and I over hear him talking how this girl was hitting on him, and she would come into the room he worked half naked always making excuses for why she had to come in the room and talk with him. I got so hurt that I asked him a couple times and he acted like he never really spoke to her again, and it turns out this girl has a reputation for hitting on all the assistants that his dad hires (even though she apparently has a boyfriend). I always ask him if anyone hits on him, and he always makes it seem like I'm crazy to even think another girl will like him.
The next night I was on my home from meeting Amanda and Ashley in Pennsylvania. He gave me a call at 5:30 telling me he was home because his boss let him out an hour early. I told him I was about to drop off Amanda at her house, and I would give him a call on my way home. I call him later to tell him I would be home in an hour and he seemed like he wanted to get off the phone fast, like he was busy with something. I asked what was going on, he said nothing and that he was just in the middle of something. I come home, and in the middle of making dinner I went into the living room and saw the furniture was out of place. I asked him why everything was out of place, he said he had some friends over playing video games. I have no problem with this, but it's like he never tells me anything and I always find out by later asking him or one of my friends tell me they saw him some where.
Yesterday I asked to see his phone, and he said hold on I'm playing a game. He gives it to me 5 minutes later and his textbox screen is open, and so of course it's in front of my face so I read it and it says "She got my a fucking wii for my birthday. She tried though." I put so much time, effort, and money to buy that for him because I thought it would be something for him to enjoy. It hurt me so much that he didn't care for it, and if he didn't could have at least said so so I could have gotten over $200 back and bought stuff for Emuna. His birthday less than a month before Emuna was born, and I wanted to get stuff for her but instead I used it on him.
Now this morning I'm on facebook and I get a message from my friend saying that she saw Kyle yesterday and spoke to him for like a half hour saying how she wants to come visit Emuna. Of course I knew nothing about this and I looked like an idiot not having a clue what she was talking about. I always ask him (because it's happened a lot of time before) that if he is talking to me friends about me, or visiting me to tell me because I feel so stupid when they start talking to me assuming Kyle fills me in and I know nothing. I know it's a minor thing, but it's constantly thing after thing with him. It's just driving me up the wall! Like it's like he has this whole other life that he doesn't tell me about. I ask him EVERYDAY how was your day, what did you do, did you see anyone in your classes you know and it's ALWAYS "Nope, same garbage. It was fine" so I let it be. And this isn't the first time things like this happened, it's after multiple times of me asking him to do things differently.
UGHHHH I HATE MEN AT TIMES!
Nervous & Excited!
Almost Official?
Confused & Lost
Doing pretty good the past couple days...

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Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian
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