peanut

I went from totaly freaking out and wanting to take a bunch of pills yesterday, to feeling pretty good and laughing and loving today. Is me feeling better real or just another day that goes so quicklyand then the beast returns? I don't know but I injoyed today for today as best I could. Although my children didn't all of a sudden forgive me for the way I've been just because I was finnally haveing a good moment. They still had that your just mean and this wont last attatude, so it was hard to stay in a good mood. I started to get aggitated at bed time so I hurried them off to bed before I started yelling again. Hope tomarrow is even better, probably not though. My family and I are going to South Carolina to see grandparents for easter break and I am stressed about that! No one even wants me to go. I get really anxiouse when on the road. I get those racing thoughts about other people hitting us, a deer might pop out in front of us, my hubby staying awake while driving. I should trust him to get us there and back like many times before, especially since he's a truck driver and does it for a living! I know I can't control everything, but that doesn't stop my brain from making me a nervouse wreck. I am taking some extra meds. this time or something. Any suggestions? I recently forced myself to go to Chicago with my sister for a getaway. We all know about Chicago traffic. My sister said I made her more nervouse than everyone on the road. Have ya seen the way those people drive!? She almost ass packed 3 cars and almost got side swiped and I'm the one who made her nervouse. How bad is that! She even said she would drive there again but I better be doped up for the ride. LOL What do I do. Just can't win for loseing most times, but I refuse to sit up in this house and do nothing for the rest of my life. How boring is that. My hubby was going to take the kids and leave me home for some piece and quiet. That would just make it worse to sit home for 5 days and do nothing . I'm used to kids running around. I think I would go stir crazy and it would make me worse. I know the ride is stressfull, but the time with my family is priceless. Now that I have exhausted my thoughts for the day I must go to bed. I love this site!!!!!!!