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I just cant right now

Sep 28 2009
I was suppose to take the boys to Boy Scouts tonight. I just couldnt do it. Calvin doesn't get off until 8, and the meeting will be over by then. Two weeks ago I had a really bad panic attack at theboy scout meeting. I got up three times to get fresh air. The third time I couldnt go  back in the room. They asked if I was ok. Somebody saw I was sweating and asked if I was having hot flashes. I felt terrible. I told them sometimes I get claustophobic. Didn't feel like explaining everything. I had to call Calvin. The attacks were happening back to back and i just wanted to go home. He came and got me and the boys. I had drove so I had him follow behind me to go home. That drive was hell. That was the beginnng of the attacks coming back after  being off the medicine for four months. Last weeks Scout meeting was canceled because of the flooding in Atlanta. This weeks meeting had me anxious all night. Had to take my sleeping meds. I made it to work, and to Georgia Power. But I really couldn't bring myself to go to that Scout meeting. I told the boys I wasn't feeling well, and got them some McDonalds. They said its ok. They forgive so easily. I still feel bad.

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