Stuck.

This is my first time writing on here but am so glad I found a place to put my thoughts! I have struggled with panic disorder pretty much constantly since I was 14 and have gone through various cyclesof treatment and was able to get on with things pretty normally until about a year and a half ago. I became unwell and the symptoms were so frightening to me that gradually I began going out less and less until going out seemed like a distant memory!

Long story short I had to leave my masters degree and remain stuck in the grip of my health anxiety/ agoraphobia to this day.

Its a very strange thing to contend with because logically I know staying at home will not prevent me from having some serious medical event however the terror still grips me when I leave the house!

I am currently having therapy and crossing everything that I can dig deep this time and perhaps get back my quality of life. As a 24 year old I should be out there and desperately want to be.

One thing I find incredibly hard to deal with is the fact that some days going out feels so much easier and less threatening and I always hope that those feelings will last but inevitably things go up and down.

This is the hardest thing i've ever had to face! Being terrified to the core of even stepping out the door is the strangest thing. I think back to days when I wouldn't have given it a second thought and sometimes that seems like it will never be achievable again! I hope it will as I am not willing to be a prisoner forever!