No Holds Barred

Dear Diary,

I have decided to quit smoking. I shall write in you everyday and talk about how things are going.

I have tried many things to no avail. This time I amtrying a tapering method.

One cig per hour. I was up to 3 per hour so that will be a drastic cut. However, I feel confident I can do it.

I began at 10pm Tues night

Dear Diary,

The plans I had for my birthday didn't happen. They were changed to Tues evening (day after BD) but...what happened in place of them was GREAT!

My oldest son came to visitand spend the night, went with us for a wonderful chinese dinner, and had a suprise birthday cake for me when we got home.

The cake was magnificent. All white cake, white icing, whit

Dear Diary,

Today I am 55 years old. I am so excited!!!

I am praying with all my heart to be able to go over to our daughter, Christy's, for my fav bd meal.  She cooks it the sameas mama did. And I feel my mama and daddy are there with us. It was also one of my daddy's fav meals.

The meal is: Neckbones/Spaghetti, White Beans/Hamhocks, Buttermilk Cornbread, and Sou

Dear Diary,

I wish ........

I could cook/bake often

I could clean my house

I could drive

I could go to church

I could attend family get togethers

I could have family get togethers

I could run errands, shop, dine out as much as I wanted to

I could shave my legs/armpits daily

I could work part-time

I could travel

I coul

Dear Diary,

Hello good friend. It's been alwhile since we talked. I feel like talking at this moment.

Monday was a beautiful day. I felt good. My new friend, Jessica, came over and styled my hair, applied makeup, did my nails, and went to the cook-out with us. She is lovely.

Let me tell you about Jessica. I met her a few weeks ago when I call

Good Morning Dear Diary,

Is there ever going to be a time I write in you and have no mention of pain? Is there?  I don't think so.

What do I do when my life is filledwith pain, overwhelming fatigue, feeling deeply sick, many infections, unbelievable stiffness? What?

Well...I learn how to live with it. How?

I lean on Jesus. I let Him hold me,

Dear Diary,

I am in pain. Still. It seems the rollercoaster ride has started back.  Not the fun kind either.

Sat and Sunday were very bad. Feet, ankles, knees, hips, elbows and handswere in terrible flare. I especially hate hands hurting. Not alot of fatigue or flu-like symptoms, though. For that I am grateful.

Got up Monday and all was much better. Except, I was feeling

Dear Diary,

It has been a long time since I have written.  Christmas has passed and we are nearly finished with Jan. A new year, 2011.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were wonderful.  I got my much needed hair cut and eyebrows  waxed Dec. 24.  No appointment, just walked in. Hannah was with me and she (6 years old) got her hair washed, trimmed and styled.

Hello Dear Diary,

Been awhile since I wrote. Well, I am up and thought I would talk to you. I am sitting here covered in Vick's Salve. Yep, have it on my chest, nose, knees, and feet. Today, I traded in my humidifier for a Vicks' Warm  Steam Vaporizer. Yep, it has Vick's liquid in its med chamber. LOL! I really need to do a commercial for this product. I ha

It is late. I am awake. My feet hurt very much. Very much. I will take another pain med and know it will add further to the pred causing insomnia.

I took a sleeping pill Sun night and slept well. However, because of fatty meal I ate for supper, sleeping med would not work so I forgo taking it.

Pred also makes me have hot flashes. I have sweated sooo much that no matter how many bath

Dear Diary,

We are home for good this time. I wish I could write all I have experienced in the past  3 months while camping. But there is not enough space for all of it. Suffice it to sayI had a ball!

The day we were suppose to return, June 22, poor hubby dislocated his shoulder. An ambulance was called, off to ER,shoulder was put back into place after much difficulty. He went

Dear Diary,

There has been so much going on I don't think I could tell you all about it without writing for hours so I shall point out the high points of this trip.

It is now May 19thand I am still in remission. Fifty-eight days of living a life I had thought was gone forever. Please understand dear diary I had come to the place of peace during the nearly three years of being s

Dear Diary

I have so much to share and the journey isn't over yet.

I left off talking about our wonderful friends Edna and Bob. We had 18 days together before they had to go back hometo Alabama. But, boy did we pack fun in those days.

Edna taught me how to play Dominos. Yep, I learned how to play Chickenfoot and Mexican Train. We played nearly everynight. Sad to say I lost

Dear Diary

Now where did I leave off? Oh yes, the snow falling on water.

I laughed like a child, my face beamed, the world had become my white wonderland. How happy it made me and how thememory will stay forever.

We had so much fun with our ALA friends. They were parked next to us on the lake. Their names are Bob and Edna and have been friends for only 4 years but we connected

Dear Diary

The last few weeks have been a dream come true. I have so many things to tell you I will have to do it in parts rather than all at once. Even as I write my journey is not complete for I am not finished camping.

This is part one.

I began out camping trip on March 19th. I must say it was with some trepidation because the prior weeks had been filled with pain and sickn

Dear Diary,

It is 12:22 am and I am up. Awake and in pain.

Friday was my birthday. It was one of those rare days I awoke and felt no sickness in my body. It was beautiful.

I, hubby, and Zach celebrated every moment of that day.

We went out to dinner. I chose Shoney's because I hadn't been there in awhile. I ordered a Chicken Salad Crossiant and French Fries. Chuc

Dear Diary

It's been a rough week. So much nausea and just feeling yucky.

I saw the doc Friday and Wed. Something wrong with my kidneys and will find out soon what it is.

I amtaking Levaquin for infection and hoping it will knock it out. Strange, I did feel much better afer 3rd dose and then it was like it stopped working. I am feeling much like I did before starting it.

Dear Diary,

I have yet to go to bed. It is 5am. No big deal, I can sleep as late as I want to.

pain and stiffness has kept me awake. Not too bad...just enough to do the up thing.

I begin taking my NSAIDs, again ,today and am hoping they kick in fast. They usually do, now I am hoping i can take them for a long time.

Results from biopsy came in and not too bad. Ten polyps

Dear Diary,

It is early morning, 3:30am. I am still awake.

Pain pills have helped the pain very well, the thing is I have to take them every 4-5 hours to keep pain level tolerable whichmeans I stay awake.

Not bad, though, I have been able to finish dishes,  fold 2 loads of clothes, and watch the movie "Wolf."

Sometimes when I am up, like this, all I can d

Dear Diary,

Today has been a pleasant one. Not much pain, stiffness and that awful overwhelming fatigue.

I woke around 8am becauseHannah got up. We played for awhile then she and Zachbundled up and walked to her house. It is 500 yards to her house and they walked down my driveway so  they were not in the cold long.

I took a nap around 2, intending to sleep one hour b

Dear Diary,

I am feeling so much better.

I still hate RA but for now the beast is sleeping. Praise God!

Today, when I woke I knew the day would be good.

There was still alot of running around to do and sweet hubby did it all. He is the most kindest, compassionate, caring, loving,  strong, manly, handsome, yes, sexy, and so man

Dear Diary,

I wish I could start out saying I am great.

I can't.

I'm not.

Today I want to let out how I feel. Really cut loose.

I HATE RA!!!! I HATE EVERYTHINGABOUT IT!!!! I HATE THE MEDS OR SHOULD SAY NON-MEDS FOR ME. I HATE THE CHANGES AND CHALLENGES  IN MY LIFE. I HATE THE PAIN, STIFFNESS, OVERWHELMING FATIGUE I HATE DOC VISITS, TESTS, ANYTHING MEDI

Dear Diary

I am up and in some pain so I thought I would write to you.

Today has not been too bad except for my foot going out on me.  After that things were better.

David (ourson) has been working very hard on renovating our home. I was suprised to find out we are going to have to take out 12" of the living room wall that leads to master bedroom, that leads to the m

Dear Diary, I am tired. Tired and sick. Mostly, I am tired of being sick.

After a few blissful days of feeling well, of the beast asleep, it has awaken. Luckily, it awoke slowly...or is that luckily? Hmmmm....yep, that is better than being slammed.

You would think after 2 years of this I would be armed, ready, and prepared for the enemy's onslaught.

 I'm not. Neve

Dear Diary,

It has been awhile since I last wrote in you. Hmmm...too long.

The last time I wrote I was so worried. Things have worked out, to the good, so all worries are gone. I thank God for this. But you know what diary, I still would have thanked him no matter the outcome because He knows what is best.

Lets talk about good things.

Today has been a fairly good da

Dear Diary

Today I am going to talk to God.

Dear God,

I am afraid. So afraid. My son and my husband may be facing terrible sickness(es). I know youalready know. I ask you dear Lord, to help them. Yes, I ask for their healing. But more than that I ask you give them courage and let them know how much you love them. Let them become aware of how muc

Dear Diary,

It is very late and I am still up. Not from pain, just not sleepy. Feels good.

My meds seem to be working well.  I am taking Nabumetone 2x daily andColchicine 1x daily.

My mornings have went from horrible pain and stiffness lasting around 2 hours to getting out out bed with little trouble.  A tremendous difference.

Dear Diary,

Tonite's writing will be a bit different from my usual style. Tonite I am in great pain and I am mad. I am so mad I could scream. Heck, I am hurting so bad I could scream. Hmmm....maybe I need to scream.

I wish I were taking RA meds and yes, a huge dose of prednisone. And a very strong pain med to STOP this nearly consistent pain.

I have taken 3 doses of

Dear Diary,

 I thought I would write in you while I am feeling much better. I know this near-well feeling will pass shortly, so I am really enjoying it while it is here. I really think Ihave another UTI. Not suprising...I have at least 8 a year. My urologist is out of town (I have an appointment with him July 7th) I was hoping to see him early. So my next step is to call PCP and have

Dar Diary, Wow, it has been a long time since I have written.  I will try to catch you up for the last few weeks.

Went camping on June 10-22. I did come back a few days in between for docappointments.

The weather was extremely hot and humid at campground. Alabama is known for its wicked hot days. I did pretty well while there. We were (are) parked just a few feet from lak

Dear Diary

I am as weak as a newborn kitten. But I feel well. I was in a major flare from late, late Wed night until this morning. This one was the worst I have ever had. Totally lay down in the bed sick.

My pain was raging, the flu-like symptoms were harsh, and fatigue melted me. This came on in a rush. No building up to it. Just WHAM!!! Next thing I know is I am down.

It le

Dear Diary,

It has been a full day. For me, anyway. LOL

We went to check on a 5th Wheel at the campground we have been trying to get to for the past several days. Haven't made it thereyet but intend to go once we take ove the 5th wheel we bought. It should be Mon when we return to stay for...well...however long we want.

Oh diary, I have been wanting this 5th wheel for

Dear Diary,

 It is 5:30 am. I went to bed at 9:30 and slept  restlessly. Yesterday was a tiring day for me. Not that I did anything to wear out  energyI had none to begin with.  A sickly day.

I wanted some brownies and this is how I ended up baking them. First I went into pantry and picked out the kind I wanted. Then I brought the box into living room and stared

Dear Diary,

 Up again. It is 2:00am and I am vaguely sleepy. Probably from sleeping until 4pm today. What I will do is sleep no later than 11am today and hope that will put me back on schedule.

I have been in severe pain today. Pain meds and heat have helped alot. I took a xanax about 11:00pm and then went and took a wonderful soothing hot bath. I washed and conditioned my hair

Dear Diary, It is 5am and I am up. Why? Same ole same ole. Pain. RA pain. I did go to bed at 12:30  and stayed there for 30 mins. Pain built until I had to get up. I tried ignoring it. Yeahright. Pain is not to be ignored.

So, I got up, took a pain med and 600 mg of neurotin. My constant companion, heating pad, at my back.  I tried rubbing my feet but that was impo

Dear Diary, This morning I cried. The deep down crying mixed with the sounds of utter despair.  The soul crying. It was over with in minutes. but oh, the agony that was present for those few minutes.

 For a few weeks hubby and I had been planning on going to his Veteran's picnic. The night before, I knew I wasn't going to make it. Two days before, I had planned on b

Dear Diary, I am so tired. So, so tired. Pain is present but not like Mon and Tue. That was when my flare began. And is still present but more in an off and on matter. More on than off.

 

I had to see doc yesterday about wound opening (again) and will be continuing with home nurse care. 

The worst of my flare started in docs office, so as soon as we were in tru

Dear Diary, What a wonderful day this has been. I woke up this morning with mild stiffness and pain. Still a little low on energy, but not wiped out.

I wasn't hungry so didn't eat until around 3pm. Poor hubby, he suggested all kinds of goodies he would make or go get to whet my appetite. Pitiful, I tell you, pitiful. I should have let him cook me something and ate a l

Dear Diary, Today had been lovely. Although I can feel RA beginning to wake up, it is not fully awake and I have enjoyed today very much.

I slept well last night. When I awoke, hubby was staring at me. You know what I did? I smiled. Yes, smiled. For the last two mornings I have smiled BEFORE arising.

Hubby fixed us a big bowl of oatmeal for break

Dear Diary, I usually write to you in the the evening but I have to write to you this morning. Why? Because I woke up about  2 hours ago and I feel well. Well! Not sick, very little pain. I haven't felt like this since Enbrel shots or before RA. And this is in the morning time which is usually a very bad time for me.

At this moment, the rain is pouring. I hear it c

Dear Diary, Today has been a good day. I saw Urologist this morning. Although, I tested positive for UTI from peeing in cup, doc did a cather? and it was normal. So now that sample is being sent for aculture. I have tested neg many times and then positive in culture. So I am hoping this one will stay negative. Eight days ago, I finished 10 days of Levequin for UTI. If I have a UTI I will be supris

Dear Diary, Thought I would share my day with you. Cassie and kids came up this morning and woke me up. That was ok, it was after 11 and I felt well rested. We tried to sit outside after lunch, the weatherwas pleasant but the wind made it chilly. My yard has many, many trees , so there are not a lot of sunny areas to sit in. Plus my swing has a canopy and is in a shady spot (which is nice, if wind

Dear Diary, It is late, around 2am, and I am getting sleepy.Probably someting to do with the Amien CR.LOL.ill go to bed after I have written to you. I will tiptoe into our brdroom and slip under the warmcovers. The matress pad wil be oh so warm and the top heating blanket will seal mein like 2 toaste slices of bread holds the warm melted cheese. Plus my hubby has laid my pillows on top of the covr

Dear Diary, Tonite I want to talk about one of the people that holds a special place in my heart. Call her family or friend. I call her both. She is one of the folks that doesn't just breeze into your life and then breezes out...she stays. She becomes part of the landscape of your life. I am aware of her all around me. I see her when I lift my eyes to a sky ful of blue and sunshine. I see her

Dear Diary, It is 2:30am and I am still up. Pain. Pain. Pain.  I have decided to write about good things. Happy things. So here goes. Hubby was so sweet today. He made breakfast , bacon, eggs, hotbiscuts for Cassie, Hannah, Cups, me, and of course him this morning. Very good. I went outside with Cassie and the kids for about 30 mins, after we ate. Although, it was 76, the wind was blowing and

Dear Diary, Another rough day. I always fix our kids and their families an easter basket. Because of flare I have not been able to get out and buy the goodies.  After I got up this morning Iknew I would not be able to shop. For a few minutes I thought to myself I would forgo this year. I couldn't. My heart was breaking at the thought of not doing what I have done for 33 years. So I c

Dear Diary, I have finished soaking my feet in my foot bath. It has heat, vibration, and bubbles. My pain pill has been in me for about an hour. I sure wish all would stop the pain. It won't. It willrelieve somewhat. I know this type pain. It is a FLARE. FLARE-INTENSIFIED PAIN. I think I may have brought it on by my little trip to town yesterday. And I mean little. One of the most frustra

Dear Diary, Today has had its ups and owns. One minute I am feeling good the next minute I can barely lift my head. I still have a week of antibiotics so I am assuming UTI is still present. Though gettingbetter every day. RA is not too bad. I do have more stiffness and more pain but it is coming and going. I am gald it is not constant. I took my B12 shot today so that should help. And of course I

Dear Diary, This morning was somewhat hard to get our of bed. Two of my toes and two fingers were giving me extra pain. As the day has progressed so has stiffness and pain. I am no longer walking. I amdrawn up and hobbling. My hoveround has been brought out of retirement and now stands near me. The strange thing is my attitute has became good again. The anger and frustration I had been experi

Dear Diary, I wish I could start of with happy thoughts. I can't. I stopped writing in a journal, once, because when I went back and when I read it I cried. It was so sad and it hit me it wasabout me. I stopped writing for a long, long time. You are the first time I have written. Now, I am afraid I will stop writing in you. I think what I will do is not read you for many months and then d

Dear  Diary, I went from feeling pretty good yesterday to feeling badly. I did not get to sleep until 5 am this morning and Hannah woke me up around 6:30. I have napped today. Illness was not whatkept me up...I am pretty sure it was the prednisone. It tends to effect me that way. Any way, as the day has  progressed I am feeling sicker. It could br MTX side effects (I took shot Thurs) or

Dear Diary, Tonite we shall talk about the last several days. I am tired. I am so tired. Pain has become intense. Maybe MTX is not working as well as before. Pain  meds help well at times but other times (which is becoming more frequent) not so well. Maybe pain meds need to be adjusted. I don't know. I haven't felt well in awhile. I will be seeing rheumy Wed so may

Dear Diary, I am sitting here tonite, it is 115 pm and pain is finally easing up some. I don't think it is as much RA as OA. My right knee and back are what is realy hurting. I was suppose tohave righr knee replaced in Nov, 08. But 2 days before surgery, I recived a call from doc to tell me surgery cancelled because of the open wound I have had foe over a year. Apparently, it was far too

Dear Diary, Hello, hello you sweet journal. I am finally feeling pretty good. Of course this morning I felt lousy and thought what a bad day I am going to have. NOT!!! As the day progressed so did a feelingof wellness descend on me. I still took things slowly and easily but was sure raring to go. Cassie, Hannah, and Cups (Kaydan) came up around lunchtime and we sat outside for a long time. The wea

Dear Diary, Seldom do I write when I am in a severe flare. But tonite I feel the need. I'm sure this will be a different tone from most of my journaling. However,  the need to release my feelingsis strong.  So now I begin. My flare began last evening with pain and stiffness intensified but still manageable with pain meds. The pain stayed at 5-6...still tolerable. I went to bed v

Dear Diary, Kids woke me up, this morning, at their usual time of 6:30. I knew immediately I would not be able to handle this morning. I went to "our" room and awakened hubby. He got up and took care of the little ones until I woke around 12:30. Zach was still here so he helped him alot. Chuck was so good with all the kids. He cooked them a hearty breakfast. And yes, they ate it thi

Dear Diary, I am hurting. My feet feel like they have been crushed and set in a pit of fire. My hands feel as if they are swollen to the point of no closing,  with flames shooting from every inch. My arms have no range of motion and ache with a vengence because I held my little grandson in them till he fell asleep. I can barely get up and down and have my hoveround close in case I have to go

Dear Diary The eagle has landed. Yep, even had a bit of a crash. Iam sitting here (11:00 pm) and am very stiff and in pain. Just took my 3rd pain pill for the day and it has given some ease. I quess itisn't made for stiffness, so I will take prednisone in the morning if stiffness persists. Because of stomach issues I can only take prednisone in a burst dose, which is 15mg, 10mg, 5mg, then stop

Dear Diary, Today has been grand. I woke up and had no stiffness. My pain meds controlled pain so well, I had no pain.  No pain, no stiffness, no feeling sick, no sign of RA. I shouted to theheavens, "Thank you!!!". I know this will not last.  I realize this is a break, so I can build my strength up to fight another battle. I know, too soon, I will be reminded I

Dear Diary, I had a rough time last night. I had to increase my dose of pain meds. The pain just was not well managed. Finally, around 4 am I went to bed and slept intil 1:00 pm. We had made plans to drive to Kentucky and have an early dinner at this wonderful catfish house.  Just a hole in the wall place that serves the best fried catfish I have ever eaten. And the price, wow...$6.99 gets yo

Dear Diary, It has been a few days since I have written. I kept my sweet angels ( Hannah and Kaydan)  Monday night and had so much fun with them. Hubby took them home at 8:00 am  thenext morning.I was totally wiped out all day Tues. Oooh...I do hate this part of my disease. I wish I could keep them for longer periods of time. But, I can't.  So, I try not to get to

Dear Diary, There has been some good food cooked here for the last few days. Since I don't cook very much, anymore, it is always a treat when we have home-cooked food. Let's see, hubby cooked some wonderful steaks on his griddle Sat evening. There were 3 very thick rib eyes marinated in red wine, melted butter, and dale's seasoning. Hubby cooked them med as he, Zack, and I like. 

Dear Diary, I am feeling frisky today so I think I will talk to you about Tuesday afternoon. That morning we had some bad storms come through. So what do you think happened? Our electricity went out.  Well that wasn't too bad, we had plenty of light and the day was warm so didn't get cold. Well, it didn't come back on within 15 mins as it usually does. No problem, I

Dear Diary,  God. Jesus. The Holy Spirit. I love them and they love me. I miss going to church so much. I  miss the preaching and the fellowship. I miss the gatherings for a pot luck supper or a singing.  I grieved for a looong time when I was no longer able to go.  Now it is easier but I still miss it. One thing I always remember is that God doesn't change...ever. My life

Dear Diary, This morning started out much better than yesterday morning. I got up at 7 and got ready for trip to doc's office for bloodwork. I didn't  feel nauseated, as I did yesterday morningso was able to stay and have test. Next hubby and I had breakfast at Cracker Barrel's. I rarely have an appeitite early in the morning so I ordered an applesause muffin and hot cup of c

Dear Diary, I was so sick this morning I did not want to get out of bed. Oh, was I nauseated. I was late getting to the doc's office, for some bloodwork, and became so sick they had to give me a vomittray. Now, you know a little ole tray like that is useless. When I vomit, it is not gracefuly spilling from my mouth. It is fast and furious. The only thing that little tray would have done is cau

Dear Diary, I am getting ready to go to bed in a little bit but wanted to write to you. Today has been better on how I am feeling. Zach and Chuck went to the chinese restaurant, last night and filledup on crablegs. I didn't go...no appetite and felt sick. Zach did sneak me 2 eggrolls out. Wasn't that sweet? I did eat them and they were very good. Slept pretty good last night. Hannan a

Dear Diary, I found out why I have been so tired and washed out for the last several days. Another UTI. In fact, a relapse from the last one which I just finished taking antibioics for, last week. Now, I am to take 2 weeks of Levequin. Last time I took 7 days. Levequin is such a powerful antibiotic, I am suprised it didn't work the first time. Can not resume MTX for 3 weeks. I am so glad I put

Dear Diary, Tonight I decided to try to sleep without sleeping aids. Not so good. It is 1:18 am and I am still awake. Body is tired but mind is racing. I have been used to going to sleep by 10-1100 pmfor the past several nights and waking refreshed...I imagine I will be tired  tomorow. Plans are to go to my class at the Y...The Silver Sneakers, but if I am too tired, I probably won't make

Dear Diary, Today has been so exciting! I went to Silver Sneakers at the Y. I have been wanting to go but haven't been able. Today, I did it! I slept well the night before, so I woke around 9:30. At first I thought I wouldn't be able to go because we had to leave at 10:30 which gave me an hour to unstiffen and get ready. But, since using my heating matress, my stiffness and pain

Dear Diary, Today has been a good day. Although, I have been in pain...especially shoulder to fingers, it didn't affect me wanting to get out of house. We waited around until 2:00 before venturingout. Ooohhh, the weather was beautiful. Sunny with bright blue skies, sixty six degrees.  Gentle wind. Just right. We drove around in the  Cool Springs area looking for this authenic Ru

Dear Diary, I am tired. So tired. Cassie had to go to doc appointment, this morning, so hubby and I watched Hannah and Kaydan. They are so precious. Hubby cooked a great breakfast for us and Hannah washedthe dishes. Pretty good for a four year old. Ok, closer to 5, she is a leap year baby. I watched them, for the first 2 hours and then hubby took over with Kaydan the last 2.  Little Kaydan wa

I just recieved the dreaded phone call...Aunt Helen died. I wonder why I am not choked up with emotion. Why I have yet to cry. Why I feel...well..a sense of release. Not for me but for her. When I sat with her, Monday, it was so sad. I couldn't help but cry. I cried softly so she would not be aware of the tears. I stroked her face, arms, and hands. And talked about Heaven. Sh

I had a difficult time falling to sleep last night. I took 2 Ambien CR and usually am out within 1-2 hours. Not last night, it was atleast 4 hours. Cassie sent us a wonderful meal of Meatloaf, mashedpotaoes, green peas, and shells and cheese. I ate this around 7:30 and took my sleep med at 9:30. I read somewhere if you have a heavy or fatty meal it will intefere with Ambien working. I suspect

Dear Diary, I am feeling a bit better today. Still in flare but has lessened in intensity. Today, I saw a neuro doc for sleep difficulty. Got some good advice for sleep. However, I can't help but think "the advice" would be better suited to someone that isn't chronically ill. I don't think they factor in the "chronically ill" part. Nevertheless, I will give it a go.

Dear Diary, All is not well. Flare, flare, flare. So much stiffness. So much pain. So much flu-like symptoms. So much depression. So much fog. Body, mind, and spirit under attack. Ok... I have identifiedwhat's going on. Solution?          I was going to write the solution in a sarcastic way...but wait... I just got off the phone, with my sweet f

Dear Diary, Today has been the opposite of yesterday. Yesterday, RA was well controlled and I a burst of energy, which I used going out with family. So fun.  Sigh. Today, RA is not controlled.Whichmeans lack of energy, body  flaring ( pain intensified), especially in hands. I have rubbed pain lotion on them and am wearing thick soft gloves to help them. My ceiling fan is off, becaus

Dear Diary, Today has been great. Chuck, Zach, Hannah, Kaydan, and I had a late lunch at Captain D's and then went grocery shopping. I could walk very well and pain was way down so I used a regularshopping cart rather than the electric one. If you looked at me at this time, you would never quess most of the time I am in a wheelchair. The weather was sunny and 50 degrees. And I felt s

Dear Diary, Today has been a bit rough.  Flare is upon me and urinary infection has me feeling ill. Because of a misunderstanding at doc's office, Thursday, I did not pick up my antibiotics thatevening. Although, doc said she was going to call me an antibiotic in and not wait for the culture, since waiting could cause a kidney infection, when I asked the nurse, as I was leaving, abou

Dear Diary,  It is late and I am still up. I did lie down for about an hour but pain became worse so I had to get up and take pain meds. It is not a horrible pain...more on the line of a 7. I am sure the meds will  help. I have found if I take the meds BEFORE pain becomes excruciating there is a better chance of lessening it. Alot like when a woman has an epiderul for childbirth, if she

Dear Diary, I have got to write down the last couple of days events.  Even though I am still somewhat tired, I am still laughing  about some things. Let me start at he beginning. Zach (13 yrold grandson) wanted to come over Friday evening to spend the weekend. Chuck and I had planned to pick hm up and all go to eat chinese food. Come time to go, I wasn't able. So, Chuck picks Zach up

Today has been an up and down one. One minute up, next minute down.  I assume it is the lingering effects of this bug. I am so happy it wasn't my  shot. Chuck came down with it,too, but not quite as bad. The MTX does suppress my immunity so bugs hit harder. I lost 4 lbs in almost 2 days. Dehydration, I'm sure. Still have a fever and am feeling tired. I am going to bed after I wri

• Took my MTX shot last night, so far so good. Usually, the side effects of nausea and flu-like symptoms don't come for 24-48 hours for me. Already passed the 24 hour mark. I do have my phenegrin and bed on hand if I get sick. When I took the oral MTX, it made me really sick and that lasted for 2 days.  The shot is different. It works faster and I haven't gotten near as

Today has been hard. Pain and stiffness increased. My ankles and feet feel as if something is chewing on them. Taking big bites here and there. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle...someone should make a dance out of this. Oh wait, someone did and it is called The Shuffle. But is much better when it is the dance rather than the way of getting around. Sigh. I did make a cake this afternoon with the help of H

Jan. 1, 2009. Wow, another year gone and a new one awaits me.  Where was I at this time, last year?  A bad place.  Full of pain and sickness. Darkness, beginning to lose hope. Nightmarish..  Where am I today? Contented, in the light, hopeful.  Pain skills learned and applied.  RA meds working.  Dreaming.  Still limited?  Oh yes, BUT I have learned to

    I went to bed an hour ago but had to get up. Seems like my time is up (for awhile) to be flare-free. It has been 5 weeks since last one. And I thought I was going to die becauseit was sooo bad and lasted sooo long. I began MTX injections 6  weeks ago and they did a great job...at least 3 of them. I haven't been able to take it for past 3 weeks because of pneumonia.

Today has been a good day. Antibiotics are working well and I can tell a big difference since I began them Tue. Poor hubby has been sick for a few days and finally went to doc today. He has bronchitis. Boy is he coughing alot. Much worse than I am. Hopefully the meds doc gave him will kick in soon. Daughter-in-law cut her finger this morning while trying to separate frozen sausage patties.

I'M DREAMING OF A WHITE CHRISTMAS..... well, I didn't get that dream. I got even better. I arose this morning with my body light and my heart full. As I looked into themirror, I smiled and said, " You are going to the family Christmas dinner today."  For joy!!! I AN NOT SICK TODAY. I CAN GO. Yippee!!! But first I had to finish preparing my contri

     I'm sitting here waiting for pain med to kick in so I can give my sweet little poodle a bath. Mind you I wouldn't do this today if the poor thing wasn't covered indog pooh. Apparently, he ate something that didn't agree with him and since his hair is long the mess tended to stick. He (Biff) is in my bathroom waiting for me. Hubby will have to clean up bathr

    It's 11:00 pm here and I am still not sleepy. Oh well, that is not unusual. So I thought I will write in my diary. Yesterday and today have been a bit rough due to thecold I picked up Mon. I am now running a fever and when it spikes I do feel yucky. Today was the second week in a row I have had to miss MTX injection. My RA symptoms are not bad and I hope I can

Let me see...it has been a few days since I last wrote in my diary. Time again to put my thoughts down on paper. I had a wonderful time having my party and friends staying the weekend. Oh, it was grand. The day after  (Mon) was a hard day. I overdid and have been paying for it since that day. I was not able to take my MTX injection (Sun)  because of developing a cold. I had to cancel a d

For joy, for joy, for joy! I finally became well enough to have a Christmas get together for family and friends. On the date planned. We had 35 folks at our house, food ranging from lobster to barbeque and all in between, delicious and beautiful desserts, and a friend who plays keyboard and sings great along with another friend who sings like an angel. Two couples spent the night with us an

I feel terrible. My pity day. Which makes me feel even worse. Once again. I missed a family get together (Thanksgiving). My hubby ate Saturday dinner at our fav restaurant ,alone, becauseI couldn't go. We missed church, today, because I couldn't go. The movie palnned for after church was cancelled because I couldn't go. I encourage my hubby to go to all outings and he do

For the past 5 years I have missed more holiday gatherings than not. Today is no exception. For 2 months I have been planning on going to my hubby's family dinner. The food is traditonal, good, andlots of family is there. Very sweet and nice people. I had planned to take a pumpkin pie bar cake, mandrian orange salad, rolls, and swee tea. We are a southern family...so gotta have the sweet tea.