nj's journey

Maybe I just think too much.  I know that puts me in a terrible cycle but I'm getting a little..no alot tired of this.  I have great advice to hand out to my friends and family but can't listen to it myself.

Ever since I was in the hospital a couple months ago with a panic attack, I've been over anylizing everything.  When is my next attack going to happen and before you know I have one.  They haven't been severe but they are always lurking right next to me. 

I've been thinking about messing with my meds, but I'm not sure thats a good idea.  I need to stablize before I make any changes.  I can't seem to get stable for any length of time.  Maybe I should write down all my "little" symptoms that are bugging me and try to see if they are real or just me making too much out of them.  That might be a start.  My doc wants me to increase my Buspar is 15mg twice a day.  I'm afraid of course.  It's a MAJOR trigger for me, but I want to feel "normal" again.  I used to have alot of good days and very few bad days.  Lately, its more bad days than good.  They are not HUGE bad days just annoying bad days.  I'll have to try to sort this out.....