|Feb 22 2011|
So i went to the gas station today and saw a very beautiful girl working there and i had it in my mind to wait till everyone left then "make a move" and then finally i got alone with her and was so confident beforehand but when i finally went up to her i changed 100x into a different person and was so damn creepy,...i started talking about the bad lighting then when i saw that it was annoying her i switched to talking about the poor drink selection compared to the other gas stations around town and then finally i started randomly talking about what happened in egypt with the whole president thing and protests as if she cared about any of that stuff lol.
I just cannot be myself when talking to other people especially women that i like,...i have zero personality and it shows big time and no confidence whatsoever and that really bothers me
I just feel like im living a lie and if im not ever gonna be capable of being my true self then what is the point of living? honestly,...i just dont give a shit about anything anymore because of that and i feel like a huge idiot after tonight. and this isn't the first time this type of stuff has happened,...its been this way every time with everyone for like 4 years
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