Why wear a ribbon?

"I have been diagnosed with both ADD and have been living with fibromyalgia since..." (VDubChick)

MDJunction to me

"MDJunction means to me the freedom to express my feelings without being interrupted and knowing there are others that can share their experience too. As a Leader it is a to show compassion and give support to all the members and always listen to each one's needs. Sometimes I may not be able to relate, so I view the responses that do relate and happy to see the results. I am proud to be a member of MDJunction and share it with all I meet that need support. I am glad to be an advocate for many different areas that MDJunction fills." (cappymuir)

more testimonials

Nick's Diary & Dream Log

I don't really write in this diary i have here much but I'm gonna start doing it more to let you all kinda know what's going on with me and i don't hold to much back that i feel is relevant so it may be kinda uncomfortable to some.

My Lack of Charisma

Feb 22 2011

So i went to the gas station today and saw a very beautiful girl working there and i had it in my mind to wait till everyone left then "make a move" and then finally i got alone with her and was so confident beforehand but when i finally went up to her i changed 100x into a different person and was so damn creepy,...i started talking about the bad lighting then when i saw that it was annoying her i switched to talking about the poor drink selection compared to the other gas stations around town and then finally i started randomly talking about what happened in egypt with the whole president thing and protests as if she cared about any of that stuff lol.

I just cannot be myself when talking to other people especially women that i like,...i have zero personality and it shows big time and no confidence whatsoever and that really bothers me

I just feel like im living a lie and if im not ever gonna be capable of being my true self then what is the point of living? honestly,...i just dont give a shit about anything anymore because of that and i feel like a huge idiot after tonight. and this isn't the first time this type of stuff has happened,...its been this way every time with everyone for like 4 years

Previous diary posts by ILoveTheRain:

Good day so far/Bad dream
Feeling Weird
Kinda Disapointed/Depressed

Im In Hell
There is no God

Comments (2) Add Comment

written by Dit, February 22, 2011

I'm sensing you are being very hard on yourself, you were engaging in a conversation, maybe she was having a bad day, or maybe she was just a 'bitch'...and rude, who knows. Looks are only skin deep and i'm sure you know that. I give you much credit for even speaking to her, i think that is extremely awesome that you did that...hoorah for you. You are soooo young, please have hope, pm me i was your age and living with bp and it was tough too, it did slowly eventually got better. You have a personality, i see it in your writing, i find you are a fantastic person, you are so honest, sincere, truthful, i can go on and on, hey i don't want to swell your head now...take care, we love ya...much hugs Dit

written by AmyGirl, February 23, 2011

Nick you should be really proud of yourself that you even tried to talk to this girl. All these things that Dit said are true.