My husband sent me a CD with some pretty romantic songs on it in the mail.  I am in one state and he is in another right now.  We were in the process of moving and after he was arrested on domesticviolence a couple of months ago I decided that while he is making up his mind about medication and counseling for himself I would get out of harms way for awhile.  I hated being the "excuse" he has for everything that goes wrong.  It's my fault he is claiming bankruptcy, in debt, and his life is basically a mess.  He never seems to recall his own family background that may have contributed to his difficulties.  I just needed to get away.  I feel guilty about that now.  However, at the time I made the decision I felt it was a good one.  I feel so guilty right now and like I need to write my explanation for what I did because for about 2 weeks now my husband has been all "I miss you so much" and highly emotional about our separation.  Tonite I was trying to express to him my being upset at his mom and him about some things and he turned the conversation into him getting something off his chest...which was the fact that I "left him" and how he feels abandoned.  In truth I can understand this because he has to be somewhat on better behavior at his mom's house.  I'm not sure if people are just not speaking up or if I am just intolerable to his awful behavior.  OR maybe he just has the routine of turning things around to make his mom and me feel guilty about somthing that is hurting him all of the time that what our original point to him get brushed under the rug.   I am quite angry about all of this tonite.  At this point we have been apart since July 31st.  I was really feeling I made a bad decision to leave until he found a job here but after tonite I am not feeling bad.  In fact his counselor told me back in February that I should leave him and come to the state my family resides in if that is really what I wanted.  I was appalled at the time!  In reality I feel the counselor must've known that if I didn't come my husband would never make an effort to do so.  I still feel concerned that he will never follow through and come here.  I am doing what is right and staying faithful to my husband.  I love and miss him but just not so much after these tirades.  What is it that makes me feel like I am "wrong, to blame and guilty" when I made a decision that seemed so full of sense for my well being at the time? I am just so tired and emotionally distraught I will have to rethink all of this later.