I first joined this group in February 08 to try and understand Avpd better. I was in a romantic relationship with a very lovely man who I strongly suspect suffers from this disorder. Sadly the demands I made for more emotional intimacy in our relationship only caused him to feel more threatened and close down on me even more. The outcome was we had to part, though we still talk on the telephone. At the moment, apart from his therapist, I am the only other person he has contact with (save necessary communication with the outside world for everyday life functioning).
I love my ex very deeply and learning more about Avpd has helped me to better understand myself also. I am learning to let go of my own desires for him to break through his walls for what I could gain if he did, and instead to learn to love him as 'unconditionally' as I can. Accepting the reality of what this lovely man has to deal with on a daily basis instead of living in the fantasy world of what a wonderful life we could have together if he got over his Avpd.
I've researched Avpd as extensively as I can and have cut and pasted lots of interesting bits and pieces about the condition in several word documents. I will post them on this site in the hope that something may be of help to others in this support group.
If there are any partners/spouses of Avpd'ers out there, I hope we can be of support to each other also as well as to the people we love and others suffering with Avpd. Partners of Avpd'ers suffer a great deal from their own emotional needs not being met, we are only human after all. It would be good to share tips on how we can stay healthy enough ourselves to truly be of support to the people we love and who sadly suffer from this condition.
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