myStuff

The two weeks before I left for a week long visit to see my sons, grandson and brothers in California found my husband on a roller coaster of moods. He was irritable and critical and there was really no pleasing him. The night before I was to leave, though, he was his calm easy going self. Actually, lately I'm not sure which is his real self.

When I left on my trip, I was still feeling the effects of the two weeks before too. Even when I returned last night and he was so sweet, I still felt guarded although I really made an attempt not to show it. Then there was tonight.

I am very sensitive to his moods and can tell that they are starting. I usually just ignore them until they go away, but I am so so tired of the egg shells. Tonight, when I noticed a shift in his mood, I really did made an attempt to just let it go. But, when I asked him if the guy talking on TV was a republican or democrat,  he said, "what do you think?" in a tone that was on the edge of being snotty.  I left the room saying that I don't know and that was why I asked, but I was upset at his tone. When I came back in, I started dinner. When he came into the kitchen as I was just about done cooking, he said something as he sweetly touched my back and called me 'babe.'  But, I was really upset and on the verge of tears, so I went off.  I told him that I can't take another two weeks like we had before I left. I won't do it, I told him. He acts like he has no idea the effect his moods have on me. I don't know how long I can take this ride of emotions.  I ended up apologizing for being over sensitive. He feels he did nothing. Am I the one with the problem?

He's still not been diagnosed, but what if he's not BP? What if he's just a half time jerk? I want to know though...but it may be that I want to be able to blame it on something.