|Apr 24 2011|
Do any of you ever feel frightened of carrying out daily activities due to the pain, swelling, stiffness, color changes, and many more symptoms that occur? Do you ever feel like you're "paying for" what you accomplished today after you have fought through the day? I do. Some days I feel as if I am a prisoner in my own body. I have become what feels to be a lazy bum. I can no longer workout nor can I do a lot of the activities I used to enjoy. However, I also feel like I am damned if I sit and do nothing because that's when RSD sets in, especially if you don't stretch. We're all stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am back in this spot after having had a pretty good week. Ya the pain was there but it was manageable with meds. I know I need to push myself, but at the beginning of this RSD mess I pushed myself too hard. I am having a hard time finding that happy medium.
I am worried about my future. I have four months to build up my strength from the RSD flares, mono/epstein barr, post infectious fatigue syndrome, sinus infections, and bouts with Crohn's disease. I am in my lowest of the low spots. I wish doctors and everyone could understand for just one minute that I am frustrated from being sick. Sick of being sick. Tired of being tired, and ready to get on with my life! I know I need to just dust myself off and try again. I am going to do just that. I believe Thomas the tank engine said it best with "I think I can. I think I can..."
reality is setting in
another bump in the road
spread and life
random thoughts on life
A very Merry Christmas! =)
2 months out from an inpatient ketamine infusion. ...
7 weeks out from an inpatient ketamine infusion. ...
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