|Apr 14 2012|
I'm really getting sick of Texas... My parents have left for a week to babysit my niece since my brother and his wife are going on their honeymoon. I'm so sick of cleaning and cooking and taking care of my son, and getting nothing back for it...not even happiness. I love my son, but I was not cut out for motherhood. I have no patience and I need time to myself. I don't even know what to do with myself anymore. Nothing really catches my interest anymore. I have no energy (as usual). I'm so dependent and so sick of it. I want to be self-reliant. I want to enjoy the little things. I want to not get pissed off at every little thing that throws me off..
But in this world you need money, and I have none of that. You need a job, and I've only had 4 (lasting a month or less) and have too much trouble finding a job. You need support, and my only support is my best friend in Louisiana. You need purpose, you need drive, you need goals... The only drive I have is getting through another day, and its not the best because everyday is hard.. I want to not feel alone. I want to be happy. I want to be employed and financially stable. I'm only 22 and life has gotten to me already..what does that mean for the years to come? Because it doesn't get better, it just gets harder..
They all think I am selfish and lazy...when Ive spent most of my life trying to make everyone else happy, when I've done hard work that I never got any thanks.. I do my best and it is never enough. I just want to be happy....
POed about my Seroquel...
Getting stuff done...YEA!
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