My Shine

I keep trying to fight my diagnosis...My first Dx was a little over ten years ago.  Borderline Personality Disorder.  A few years ago I started hearing "Bipolar" and this last Januarywhen I was hospitalized I heard a word I wasnt familar with AT ALL.  "Psychosis." I got angry last week at my boss and co-worker,  I have been throwing things at work and walking out of the kitchen because everything frusterates me.  I have absolutly no attention span, and all I can do is hope that this next month that I have to wait to see a dr to get back on my meds goes by quickly.  June 1st, that was the next available slot to pencil me in. I have never been so anti social, but the delusions can be pretty tolling on the relationships.  I am s grateful that my boss, who I consider my friend as well, has a been understanding and shows conern when he sees me start to slip. I show up late to work, I throw attitude in every direction...I feel dettached from the world. I would like to say that that is not me, but I dont feel like I know anything about who "me" even is.