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  "Bipolar and PTSD " (AmIMe)

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grandmasylvia"MDJ has been "a soft place to fall" for me as Dr Phil says. I have this very painful rare disease Dercum's Disease and take comfort in finding others here who share their knowledge and compassion. Many
members have helped me just by understanding my anguish and validating
my pain. We are working together to encourage research toward a cure.
" (grandmasylvia)

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habdab6067 I am going though a living nightmare and I want to wake up.


wishing

Mar 18 2012
I miss him. I miss him. I sit and think and I miss him. I just want to know, I just want confirmation about whether he ever thinks of me, or what. Has he hated me so much I am out of his life? I wish I knew. I wish that I could somehow get in his mind and try to figure things out. I just need to know whther he hates me or not. If I had that answer then my life could become new and I would just accept or have to accept the new normal. How could someone that I gave life to hate me so much he wanted to kill me? My mother called me a fuck up on numerous occassions. Every family has a black sheep, I am ours. I thought I did something so right by giving him life, but in the end somewhere along the line I fucked up. I had gotten the suicide thoughts out of my head but now for some unknown reason they just came back.  I wish there was just a life switch just like a light switch. Turn it on and you live life, shut it off and your life ends. My switch is now half way there, in the balance.

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