My new life, one I don't want

I am begining to fall into a BIG depression. I thought I was finally learning how to deal with this new kind of normal but instead realized I wasn't I was just starting the descent into a major depression. It is going to be a whopper of one..the kind where the only way out is to end it all. I realieze I fucked up again. My mother told me the other day I wasn't a good mother to him. That I spent too much time on the internet then with him. I told her I know I did it when I first got my computer for like 3 days but then did not go on until after he was in bed. But she doesn't see it like that. See, she has called me a fuck up before and I guess this confirms it. How do I tell Dave that I think I could kill myself??? How do I tell him that?? How does one even start to tell him something like that? Nice weather by the way I am falling into a depression and could kill myself?? I messed things uo