My Life as I see it...

My husband and I have always disagreed on his family.  I believe they are rude and inconsiderate, he believes they are nice and sincere.  Till of course he read emails between two of the sister-in-laws and realized they were exactly like I said they were.   They said some down right mean things about my husband and I.  He has been so upset that he hasn't talked to the majority of them in a few months.  Now one of his siblings is going through a drug and depression problem and they called a "family" meeting.  What's upsetting to me is that the family meeting doesn't include the spouses.  There's been alot of turmoil amongst the family and everyone says they want it to stop, then they call a family meeting that deliberately splits the family into two different catagories: Family and Them.  Them being us spouses.  How are we all supposed to get along as one family unit if we're all not considered to be family.  I was told by my brother in law that this meeting is supposed to be the siblings deciding how to help their brother and for the siblings to take the first step in mending their broken relationships.  My opinion on the matter is that the majority of any problems in the family have very much to do with things said about or to a spouse, or things a spouse retaliated on.  So how can the first step deliberately exclude them???  I'm confused on this.  Then to make matters worse my husband fought with me the better part of the day trying to tell me that his brother was right to not invite everyone.  That if everyone were there it would be more hassle then it's worth.  (in so many words)  Wow...way to make me feel like I'm not really a sister in the family!!!  I have advice to offer, I have hurt feelings, and I have a right just as any other spouse has the right to be at a "family" meeting.  My husband defended that the first step should be taken among the immediate family.  Ok...so again...I'm not immediate family?  What a way to make someone feel completely useless and unaccepted!  If family is only the original blood line, then why do people get married and supposedly become one family???

Not to mention...with me having bipolar...I think I could actually have some good insight on how to help out his depressed sibling who's acting out with drug use and running from all their responsibility.  Been there...done that.  But whatever....I'm not family, and my opinion doesn't matter.