The next over confident self-indulgent asshole that breathes the word's remission, or most people with Crohn's live normal lives and have jobs these days.........I swear I will loseit, go postal, and set it straight..

Not everyone has severe Crohn's Disease, there are different classifications, mild, moderate, and severe. I have 4 fistula's, and have had a bit of my colon dissected along the way. I think I classify as severe as I am on Imuran and Humira. Funny to me neither of these drugs are controlling my disease.

People like to assume and compare.. Just because Cindy Lou Who down the street from us has mild Crohn's, no fistulas, no surgeries or other complications and Remicade was her wonder drug that sent her into remission, doesn't mean that remission is going to come that easy for me..

 OKAY! With all of this said, I am climbing down off of my soapbox...

**No disrespect is intended towards actual Crohn's patients that have achieved remission through treatment, this is my personal story.**

Well I started My start-up dose of Humira 4 shots of 40mg last friday.. So far I have noticed some of the arthalgia has improved, however, my diarrhea has changed into some nasty yellow stinky slimymalodorous film in the toilet that gags me!! I can never make it to the toilet anymore and I was wondering since I have shit up all my draws can I borrow a pair of yours??? LOL

I guess shit happens for real yo! I thought this was supposed to get better geez man... $10,000/month to have to spend more money to buy new/extra draws that just ain't fair...

I can do anything but sleep.. My family hates me thinks I am taking medicine to make me sleep (which I am not). I simply cannot stay awake, at all. I sleep 16 hours a day at least.. I cant force myselfto stay awake no matter how hard I try. Everyone is mad at me not to mention I am stiff andsore from the arthritis and the Crohn's issues...

How much rectal bleeding is enough to warant a trip to the ER.. My blood level is 11.1. I have had major diarrhea for the past several days with bright red blood in each stool. I went to the ER becausemy prior blood level was 12.2 after recieving a transfusion. They dont seem to care. I dont know what to do. I am scared..... I dont want my young sons to wake up some morning and find me dead in my bed..  Could this happen?? I may be a nurse but this isnt my specialty.... I just know I love my babies and no one could ever love them as much as I do ad I am freaking out because none of these doctors seem to care....

I thought I would take a few minutes to write an entry since it's been so long. I have been on steroids in addition to Azathioprine now for over a month. I think my family is building me a lil oneroom shack out back of which they want me to reside....permanently or at least until the steroids are finished. My platelets are extremely low and I am experiencing noselbleeds one after another. Other then that NONE of my symptoms have improved so I keep wondering why they are putting me through all of this. Anyway... When I can manage to stay awake (the MAJOR chore) I like to spend time with my boys. All of our flowers are in full bloom now and they are so pretty. I am so glad that we planted everything long ago before all of this BLAH set in

My Dr is finally going to put in a port-a-cath. I am a terrible terrible stick. My arms look as if they have been driving nails in them from missed attempts for blood draws and IV sites. This will hopefullyprovide some comfort. I get stuck a minimum of 5 times per week and I am over it... My 3 day hospital stay bought me 22 needle sticks... Tell me good idea or bad idea just leave a comment with the choice bad or good and explain your answer.. Thanks your thoughts are important to me..

Rectal Bleeding and Severe Dehydration... More to follow when I have more strength..

Sorry I havent added any writings in a while. I had recently been diagnosed while Rheumatoid Arthitis on top of Crohn's Disease and Epilepsy... My doctors said though they are aware that crohns diseasedoes have an arthritis associated with its own disease, this RA came on with a rash and I was screaming out with the pain. I had little blisters on my skin after walking from my front door to the mailbox and back in the afternoon. So I am on heavy duty steroids. They are trying to get my insurance to approve Enbrel (sp) injections to kill 2 birds with one stone.. Crohns and RA. Anyone that has had anything similar with the arthritis, rash, etc, I would like to hear about it.

I have to brag.... I had my 2nd normal poop... It wasnt a blood sweat and tears event.... Not diarrhea, Not hard stool, just a decent regular soft formed stool. AAAAH the second one I have had this hasoccurred twice for me now in the year 2008!!!! I have made a major accomplishment The New York Times better Beware cause if this happens a third time I may just take a picture and see if they will publish it!!!! LOL  I thought this day would never come for me... But just think if there is hope for me with all of my fistulas and acbcesses there is hope for all of you guys/gals too. I know it's hard when your at home or you can't find the courage to scrape yourselves together to get outta your jammies into your day clothes I have been there (Don't YEAH RIGHT ME) Prayers and Hugs for a Better Day and Better Health to you all. I still have my fair share of "shitty" days, but each day that I am blessed with a sunny day that I feel good I am grateful and I intend to burn it out in my yard with my children tending to my beautiful flower gardens. Peace and Love.... Pass It On!

I am kind of anxious.. I havent had to get blood or anything b4. Can anyone shed any light for me? I am used to being on the otherside of the bed.. I am generally the nurse caring for the patient, notthe patient. This is totally new. I am used to the fistulas, abcesses and that kind of stuff I mean.. But I am talking about this technical stuff. Will I be there all day. Is it like an open room with alot of other sick people and we are all like sharing what are you in for stories?? I am totally clueless about this part.

I got go in for some blood. My blood/platelet counts are to low and I have bruises allover so my doctors calling me in for packed cells. Never had all that before. All I know is that they drew my bloodfriday and friday afternoon my doctor was blowing my cellphone up.. stay hydrated... if you at all feel the least bit faint or have difficulty staying awake (which has been a problem for a while but I didnt tell her that) GO TO THE ER IMMEDIATELY!!! I said OK I understand....  Geez and to think the medicines are supposed to make you better....I understand all the risks and side effects but sometimes you just got to whine cause nothing else seems to work either..

Time to move on to the Next Med. My AZA isn't working anymore. The diarrhea has returned. The horrific bowel spasms and abdominal cramps have returned with a vengence. I guess its time to beg for the Remicade.. I am not goin to like driving the 3 hrs to Nashville to recieve it though because I cant get it here in the town I live in according to these doctors. Pissy Pissy.....

Today, I have loose bloody stools. Just when I thought I was turning a corner toward remission (or hoping) all hell starting breaking loose in my anus. Oh well maybe some other month.

Attack of the pulating anus!! I havent really experienced this much until today. I have had alot of bowel spasms and with this I have had the pulsating sensation. It is rather annoying. I feel like I am going to be incontinent nonstop!! I used to take mepergan forte (demerol phenergan) a very light dose for the spasms because it is the only thing I can take because everything else bothers seems to be becoming ineffective or causes GI  bleeds. I am to afraid to take that anymore because I am afraid of impaction again. What to do. Anybody else got these issues and what do you do for it?

Went camping over the weekend....The good days came to a halt as soon as we arrived!!! I was nauseated, tired, and diarrhea'd all weekend.. BOO!! This wont stop me from trying to go on with my life! I have a family here to enjoy.. Poop or no Poop!!!

I didnt nap at all today. The sun is warm it's just beautiful out! I may go out this weekend if I am still feeling this good. Pretty cool. It's been so long since I have felt like a person.. I dont have chronic diarrhea in fact I am actually having  take stool softeners, I have never had to do that b4 ever!! It's a nice break to almost be normal. I have some joint ache. It is like stiffness. I hear thats common but it isnt bad enough for me to intervene with tylenol or anything so I am not complaining. No other symptoms really other than the cracked corners of the mouth, they are ugly badd!! But hey I can slap Karmex over it and Im good to go. Wow it has been yrs since I felt like 1/2 a person. I have the gremlin good grief stomach noises in the mornings still but thats about it! Yay!!

I guess yesterday was so good I didnt want it to end because I couldnt go to sleep last night. I watched the clock wrap around. So I slept all day today which in turn worried my mother.. The wheelsin her mind churn if I am not complaining or all peppy...LOL Have a good day!

I got up showered... I even put makeup on!!!!! I havent put makeup on in a longtime! I hope I can feel like today for at least one or two more days.. I didnt have any major symptoms at all today. A littledry eye and minor aches but hey.... I'll take that over the last several days. I sat out on the porch and felt the breeze. I saw the dogwoods and the redbuds blooming in site. It was a beautiful day. Thx God.. I needed that.

My surgeon has decided not to do anything at this time because of my slow healing factor due to the AZA. He intends to leave the seton drain in until the time comes it must be replaced. As far as thenew tunnel off of this existing fistula he will treat it with antibiotics until it becomes nonresponsive to this treatment. Go figure..  My thought is this ... WHAT ABOUT THE PAIN?? What do I do when it starts hurting at 3 am and there is nothing I can do about it? I dunno it's kinda scary to me.

I hurt. I cant seem to get any relief from it. Come on monday. Ready to get this surgery on now! Gotta go hot bath...

I have to have yet another surgery. I have a nice new fistula so monday at 8:30 am I am having yet another surgery. Number 7 in a yr for fistulas. This is the 2nd seton I will have in place. Sexy.. I am just not ready for anything more durastic.. I cant, not yet. I am NOT ready.

I don't wanna do anything but sleep today!! I havent moved off my couch to do anything except the potty business grab some p-nut butter crackers and a water and take the meds and thats it! LAZY LAZY! I hope the world isnt waiting for me to make a grand ball room appearance they will be shit out of luck today for sure!!

I am not going to be able to make the trip to Virginia to see my Sweetheart. I am very bummed out about it. He is being transported back to Richmond, Va for a Doctor's appt neurologist so that makesit even more difficult to plan a "next time" visit. I don't know when we are going to see a break from all of this. His brain aneurysm was in January.  The children and I havent seen him since before that.. Sometimes you feel like your just going to break...

Woo Hoo! I have a new inflammation/ abcess. I am on a round of cipro and flagyl once again in addition to the Azathioprine. Not to happy about it but that life I guess. My seton drain became infected.. Guess its gonna have to be replaced its been in almost a yr now. I was gonna get to go see my hubby now I have to go get my bum sliced open so I cant do the 5 hr ride there and back this blows....

Today was okay. The meds are nauseating (Azathiaprine, Questran 1 hr later). I take Zofran for nausea I have these blisters in the back of my mouth and throat this is new and weird but the meds are helpingthe other symptoms so what do you do?? I talked to my Sweetheart today. He had a good day, relaxing in Virginia, his Grandparents came for a visit and busted him out of the Veteran's Hospital. I hope I get to go see him in about 2 weeks if my symptoms are controlled my Auntie is going to drive the kiddos and me up to see him. I hope to steal some kisses from my soldier.. I miss him so much. He has always been my rock....