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My journey with my oldest

My son is addicted to meth, and alcohol.

5/18/2012

May 18 2012

I woke up with this same knot in my stomach. I keep hoping one day I will wake up and it will be gone. Currently my son is in a mental institution. He is crying and begging for me to get him out. He wantsto spend his birthday "out." The past 3 have been spent in jail/prison... #21, 22, & 23. I know in my heart the reason he wants to be out is so he can party like a rockstar on his birthday since he hasn't been able to since making it into adulthood. He feels like he got jimped since he wasn't able to do the same things the average child got to do on their 21st bday. But he is far from the average child. I don't understand why I have such conflicting feelings. I know he needs to be where he is, and I definitely don't want him to go party on his birthday but, the other part of me feels guilty that he is where he is. I can't figure it out and I can't shake this feeling. =(

Comments (1) Add Comment

written by ange2009, May 19, 2012

I understand the pain of not having your child home with you,mine is in prison,for another 8 years,bipolar he was,and is,but now,no alcohol,and his meds are controlled.
his life was a path of destruction..he lived in 4 states,never kept a job,borrowed money..never returned it..could not keep a girlfriend..used drugs and alcohol..he is now 30 years old,he shook and hurt my 4 months old little grandson,..3 years ago to the day..my husband and I are still learning to live with the pain,and have not succeded yet.
i know my son needs to be where he is,we talk to him, visit him,and help raise our sweet little grandson,he is severly disable.
here at MDJ, you can vent,I am crying as i am writing..but like someone told me..tears get rid of the toxins in your body..

trajedy doesnt discriminate, it hits households at random,poor,wealthy,and in between,education wont spare you either.
well i could go on..just know that i will think of you,and your family,make the best of today.hugs,Jackie.