|Dec 02 2010|
Granted he as Asperger's but damn! He has no regard for other peoples feelings and just does not GET emotions. I am at my lowest of lows today and he yells at me asking if I am ok tobe with the kids, because if something happens to them I will have to leave! He continues to say he has been putting things on hold between us since his needs are not being met because he knows I am seeing a doctor and my meds are not right!
First of all the kids are always with me, he works nights. He is not the nurturing type and we have girls. They both fear him since he is the enforcer,and financial provider only. Second, my needs are far from being met. I am an emotional wreck and I have to FORCE myself to work, cook, clean and nurture our kids all by myself. He is a internet gamer so when he is home he goes to his cave plays world of the warcraft for HOURS! leaving me to deal with out mentally retarded 11 year old and a 2 year old.
It is so easy for me to just say to hell with it and check out all together. I am totally dependent on him financially,so when he says things like that I feel like I have no alternative or no way out. When I was cycling I was blaming him for everything and he was the enemy in my mind. I was very paranoid. Then we we realized I was sick he had a disorder also, it was a moment that strengthen our marriage and we knew what we were facing to stick it out, we could totally understand each other it ALL made sense. so I stopped seeing him as the enemy but as an ally, his words today took all that away. Let me just add we married and divorced and remarried again, what a freaking ride it has been!
One of those days!
Alcohol leading me into depression?
Much Better Now
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A Very Merry Christmas is coming my way!