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YouAreLoved

My Journey Through Agoraphobia

Just recording events, thoughts and whatever else I might find value in later on.


Down Again

Oct 02 2010

I was so excited to go see the pastor this morning to schedule my baptism. My mother was going to take me to a church not too far away, but in the opposite direction of where we usually go. He was waiting there for us. But dammit I could even get in the car. I stood there a nervous wreck for 40 minutes while my mom tried to persuade me to get in the car! I was crying and feeling nauseous, it was terrible. Finally she cut the car off and let me go back inside. What has this disorder done to me? I didn't think I had all that much freedom to begin with, and now it's taking what little I had left! 

I am so discouraged. Devastated. I need to find a way to feel empowered, like I know I can control this. But it's hard to feel that way when this anxiety is most humbling. 

Just wanted to vent. Hope you all are doing well. God bless you

 

With love,

Tyler



Previous diary posts by YouAreLoved:
Comments (1)Add Comment
written by Conn65, October 03, 2010
Tyler, don't ever let your set backs define you or make you lose sight of your accomplishments. There are going to be good and bad times with this. When you have a set back don't let yourself dwell on it. Replace the thought immediately with a positive. Keep a notebook of positive thoughts daily. Even if it is as simple as you walked to the mailbox today.

wishing you all the best,
Connie

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