|May 29 2012|
"One day at a time" that is the mantra I hear from so many.... easier said then done. My mind flashes forward to things that were going to happen but now may or may not. It is so hard to stayin the moment as things that either remind you of the past and how that image that you thought was real is shattered. So many things that happened that I explained away as the wife's depression were in reality her coming off her drug of choice and not having the opportunity to get more till she went back to work. I didnt think i was such a bad judge of chacter till now. I really need to stop beating myself up but it is hard not to. I did do everything i could but addicts will go to great lengths to get their fix.
So What now? I plan on taking inventory of my life once she is in the hosp. I think it will happen this week but these things dont happen overnight for us common people. If she was a famous person she would be whisked off to a very private rehab spa where she could get a massage between therapy sessions.
I dont wish ill on anyone but why do I hope it is like an army boot camp. So maybe she can come to terms with just how she has hurt so many people.
So I throw it out to all of you... tell me. Am I wrong? Am I right?
What should my next move be? I am flying by the seat of my pants.
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