An open question for MDJ |
Jul 02 2012 |
I want to pose an open question ti MDJ and see what people think.
My wife, who has an addiction problem is planning to go to rehab. She has gone to several NA meetings and continues to tell me she isn't like the other people in the room. She says “she isn't like the ones who were messed up and on the street. She wasn't a thief or bought drugs on the street. she is not like those people”.
Even though she did steal morphine from the hosp she formerly worked at and injected them while working. Even though after she got off her shift she was incapacitated and spent many hours sleeping the drugs off after she worked. Even though she had a hard time driving home after her shift because she was so high. Even though she would smoke pot to get by when she wasn't working.
She tells me she will go to rehab and she will do whatever they tell her to do. To me..... it sounds like she is running from the fact that she is an addict and that unless she accepts THAT fact she is doomed to failure. What do you think.....if you need more info please PM me or just let me know your openion.....
I believe the vast pool of knowledge and experience in MDJ is far better then me and my bias. Thank You
PS...one more question. Is helping motivate the addict when they ask you to being codependent? If they ask you to remind them why they need to go to all the meetings and why they are getting treatment, if you do are you enabling them not to be responsible for their own recovery or in this case sobriety?
I went to any lengths to get high,now I will go to any lengths to stay sober and clean.
Kris
I hit bottom hard and almost died, I was in a coma for over a month, and develped all these medical problems. So now I come home from the hospital and what I can't drink because the dr says it will kill me, I have pain meds but they are not helping my pain, so I am still abusing them, I went through the steps of recovery, letting my family think that I was on the road to recovery. But I would sneak drinks during family events, that did make me sick, I was always sick and in pain, I wasn't taking the meds the right way so they were not helping my pain. But I was going to meetings and had a therapist I was seeing. then one day my daughter caught me sneaking a drink, the pain of hurt on her face was like a knife going through my heart, I never wanted to see her in so much pain, that moment changed everything for me. I started to take recovery seriously and I worked at getting clean, I did relapse several times but my daughter and bf kept pushing me to get clean. I wanted my daughter to look at me w/ love in her eyes not the pain of betrayal I saw. It was alot of hard work but finally I got clean...and now my daughter looks at me w/ love in her eyes.
The reason I am telling you all this is to show you that I think that is what your wife is doing, she is going through the motions because she has no choice, she was caught, but her heart and mind are still in denial. She doens't see herself as the way some people think addicts are, the ones living on the street that are all messed up. She was functioning, she was not lying, cheating etc to get her drug, she was not homeless and w/o money, She was like I was a functioning addict, but no matter how you view it, if the drug is controlling all your actions, if your life revolves around the drug, then you are an addict.
Hopefully in rehab someone will say something or do something and it will hit your wife that she really has a problem. She is still in denial, because she is so afraid to face herself and her life w/o drugs. they are keeping her going, there is no life w/o her drug. Somewhere deep down in her soul, she is falling apart and is so very afraid, so she denies it just so she doesn't have to face her fears.
My daughter kept pushing me to go to meetings and therapy, she was relentless, you say that at some point your wife should be going to meetings w/o you pushing her, you are right but right now you have to keep pushing her until she admits to herself and to you that she has a problem. I don't think I would have fought so hard if my daughter was not there pushing me all the way.
I hope this is helpful to you, I try through my experiences relate to you and your problem. Stay strong, she will have to admit it sooner or later, especially if she is going to rehab, they have alot of therapy there, maybe someone or something will happen and she will finally admit her problem....always..ana
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You are right...she doesn't want to admit that she is an addict. And she is a thief since she stole it from the hospital. She didn't buy drugs from the street b/c she had it right there and it was easily accessible to her.
She said will do whatever they tell her to do, but she doesn't believe she needs help. Bottom line....she doesn't believe she's an addict and until she does, nothing will change.