My Hysterectomy

Well, I finally got around to joining the divorce and separation support group. I hope it helps, this depression about missing J is not getting any better at all. I am dating, I am doing everythingI normally do. I have moved house, I am trying to decide which college courses to do next semester, I am a productive and useful member of society. I front the massively busy HPV group and the Menopau...

Well, we are here! We made the 200 mile move four weeks ago and it has taken until now to get back online. The phone got connected straight away, but it took forever to get the broadband sorted. ButI am back now, so I will try to catch up with everyone as and when I can.

The new house is just gorgeous. Built in 1905, it stands tall on the top of a hill, looking down in to the valley, with...

Well I am packing and it is all going well. In exactly one weeks time, Sarah and I are moving 200 miles North, back to Yorkshire, where I grew up. 

It's funny, my entire adult life hasbeen transient. This little corner of Hampshire is actually the longest place I have stayed in since I was 16. At 16, I left home and moved to Wales, from there I had time in Portugal, then back to...

Well it is 5pm and I have just had a nap because I need to leave here at 2am for my early morning flight to Tunisia. I am so excited about it, I am well overdue some holiday and it is about time I recharged my batteries after the cancer treatment and surgery and everything.

I don't now if anyone knows this, but Tunisia is a very important place for me. I lived and worked there for thr...

I hope everyone is getting ready for the festivities. I know my American friends have already started with theirs, with Thanks Giving etc, but here in the UK it is the final countdown to Christmas. I for one an very exited this year. I am heading up to Sheffield on the 19th December, right after my pre-op appointment next week on the 18th. And I am staying up there for a fortnight, so it is goi...

Well it is 2am here in the UK and I cannot sleep. The pain is bad tonight, but nothing can spoil the fabulous evening Irsh and I have had. He is attentive and kind and generous in spirit and so loving. I am falling hard. But I am still holding back and I think he senses it. He knows how badly Jon has hurt me and how he brought me to my knees and kicked me when I was down at my lowest. As a resu...

What a difference a day makes. Who sung that? Well in the space of twenty four hours my life has been turned upside down. From feeling that death would be almost welcome this time last week, suddenlyI feel happy, hopeful, excited, a little (a lot) scared and wow, just so good!

Let me explain! My house-mate put me on an internet  dating site a few months ago. I had a ton of emails and...

The rain is pounding the glass and the wind is getting stronger. Storm force winds are forecast tonight, which will be nice.

I booked a holiday in January. Going to Tunisia for a week to see my family. Sarah will be there as she is off with her dad for two weeks. So we will meet up. I am looking forward to it.

Jon has flown off to America to meet his girlfriend. He lied to me, told...

You know the first line of the song 'Silence' by Simon and Garfunkel? 'Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again'. That kinda sums it up. I am in a really darkplace right now. Feeling lower than I thought possible. The treatment is going okay. I feel exhausted and have a constant headache and tummy upset, but it is not so bad, not as bad as I had thought...

It is 5am and I have been awake on and off for most of the night. I am worrying about the little things, like have I remembered to pay all the bills and how will I cope with my college coursework ifI am being sick. The big elephant in the corner is not bothering me so much.  The difference this time around is I am actually talking about it, with my friends and my family, even with the loca...

Why am I sooooo tired? I slept for almost 10 hours straight last night, but still struggled to get up this morning. I almost fell asleep at my desk earlier and it is now not even 6pm and I feel so tired that all I want to do is sleep. I have cut down my hours and taken a voluntary demotion at work, so I am now able to sit at a desk for just four hours a day, but it is still such a struggle.&nbs...

So it turns out that a total hysterectomy wasn't enough. I had a cone biopsy yesterday to remove some more of the cancer and I am having internal radiotherapy on the 12th October. Deep joy! 

I am still missing Jon, but now I feel less hurt and just angry that he left me and Sarah when we needed him. I have had to drop my hours at work because I am so tired, so money is a worry to...

Well I am away to Wales on Saturday and I just cannot wait. With everything that has happened in the last few months, I am desperate for a break. I have been rushed off my feet with work, my day jobis so busy and trying to get the freelance photography up and running is taking up a lot of time too. So getting away will be fun. It is a bit of a busman's holiday though. I am taking two camera...

Well three weeks ago I had the implant fitted in to my abdomen. It was a pretty horrid procedure and I had to have a couple of stitches, but within a week I had stopped having symptoms, no more flushes, no more mood swings and no more night sweats. Yipee!

 I am still coming to terms with it all, but generally feeling so much more positive about it now. I am back at work too, which ha...

I became an Auntie yesterday. Little Holly Ann born at 2pm weighing a fabulous 8lb 2oz. Not bad for a first baby. My wonderful sister in law is doing fine after an horrific 32 hour labour with onlygas and air.

I am delighted at having a new baby in the family. But it has caused me some real upset too. I was worked up and worried throughout her labour, snapping at Jon and feeling just gene...

I really need to learn to practise what I preach! Readers of my posts will know that I am strict about how long a person needs needs to recover after a TAH. Six weeks is just not long enough. Your insides have got many, maybe hundreds of stitches and that knife has cut straight through seven layers of muscle. I personally, have 117 internal stitches.

With this in mind I have tried to be g...

Funny how these things happen, but since I stopped taking the last lot of mega strong anti'biotics for the latest kidney infection, I feel a whole lot better! I wonder if the infection was makingme ill, or was it the tablets I took to get shut of the infection? I guess I will never know. But it is a huge relief to feel physically better.

I still like my sleep! I find I need that after...

Well it is six weeks tomorrow since my surgery. I am still battling a kidney infection and my wound is inflammed again. But these things happen. I have been told that some people are afraid becauseof what I have said previously regarding infections. But let me assure anyone reading this, if you need a hysterectomy, then an infection or two is the least of your worries. That is what antibiotics...

I am actually sitting here feeling so miserable I don't know what to write. The HRT is just not working and I am having to change the bad sheets daily from the night sweats. The hot flushes areworse than ever and my mood is really and unusually low.

It hasn't helped that I have a problem with my mobile phone, so I have been isolated from texting my friends all week. I cannot affor...

Well according to the people in the know, I am over the worst! What the people in the know seem to forget are 1) the agony of healing internal stitches. 2) the constant tiredness and 3) the horrible, awful menopause sympotoms which are not yet under control.

The first two are part of the parcel that comes with any major op. I was ready for them and am coping well enough. The symptoms of m...

Well it is all over with. I am lying propped up in bed on my laptop, drinking lots and feeling pretty okay all in all. The surgery itself went well, although because of the servere extent of the endometriosis, I have 117 internal stitches to cope with. The pain was off the scale for the first few hours after I came round. My surgeon does not believe in epidural, so I had to just deal with the p...

Well on some sound (I think) adivce, I have been out and purchased some enourmous knickers! Beautiful is not the word... no really, it's not! I am told that they need to be big for three reasons. 1) because of the pads needed post op for bleeding. 2) For comfort, last thing you want are your tight lacy thongs cutting in to your stitches and 3) to offer a bit of support. If they come up...

Ok, so it is the 15th December. I have three days to go to surgery. I am having a TAH (total abdominal hysterectomy) with removal of both ovaries, cervix and some lymph nodes. It was something I knew I would have to have eventually for a long time. I have suffered with Endometriosis for many years and have had three lots of surgery for that, as well as three courses of Zoladex and many diff...