|Apr 13 2011|
I have had a better day today than yesterday by a long shot. I'm not quite sure how it all happened, but I have a little more self-confidence than I have for a while now. I have been completely leftalone from my abusers for now and found that I actually like being away from them. I actually got a little bit of sleep and ate! The depression and anxiety are still there, but they are a little bit more below the surface and I have had an easier time distracting myself today. I started a bathroom project with tearing down wallpaper and hopefully painting at some point. I have never been a hands on type of person. I was always the bookworm and it is actually kind of nice to be a little out of my comfort zone and this project should take a little while to finish and will help keep me busy when I need it. I had a few talks with some old friends that I had been manipulated to alienate for a while and it really helped. The one important one is still being extremely cautious, but it was good to clear the air a little and if s/he cares truly about me and wants me in their life they will and if not I will find someone else down the road that I feel I can fully trust and be myself around. All I can do is focus on me and put myself out there and know that I am good enough. I know this mood likely won't last long, but at least I have this written down and can come back to it and see that not every moment is one of despair and there will be more good times to come.
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