Diary Entries for tparham

May 9, 2013

tparham

It's been a while since I've written a journal entry, but I've been going through so much lately. I keep having the urges to use, and I try to ignore them by doing other things, and some days it works, but other days it doesn't. Some days are worse than others. I sometimes don't know how I will get through them, but I keep trying and trying, and hold on to the fact and the self-assurance that I will get better, and that I will make something of myself. I don't want to be [...]

April 23, 2013

tparham

Well, I meant to write this closer to 4/20, but I guess today will do. Well, as of course we all know what 4/20 is, and it was a very hard day for me. I was supposed to work that day, but they let me off earlier, because our business was slow at the time. So I left work, and was about to head home when my mom called and said that she already had the kids and was watching them this weekend whileI did whatever. I didn't ask her to do that, but it was nice that she did. So I went home, was a [...]

Life..

tparham

Life is hard, but not one day in my entire life have I heard someone say that. Nothing in the world is ever easy. You have to work for what you want. It as taken me the longest time to realize that I will have to work hard for what I want in my life. Nothing will be handed to me. I have to work and fight for it. Yes, there are people that will do their best to bring me down, but I can't letthem get to me. If I do, it shows them that they have won, and gotten to me. There are things that h [...]

Pure Hell...

tparham

Well, let's just say that yesterday was a terrible day. This girl that I have been friends with since the 6th grade turned against me. She said that I was going around town, and telling everybody that she had HIV and AIDS, and for a fact, I know I didn't. I would never talk about someone in a bad way unless they have done me wrong, and even then, I wouldn't talk bad about them. I'm just not that type of person. I'm a friendly person unless you run over me countless times. [...]

April 15, 2013 (Again)

tparham

I get so tired of so many people that come in my life judge me on what all I have been through in my past. It makes me so mad. Yes, I know I'm not perfect, but who is? I will never be the perfect person. I have made many mistakes, and I wish that I had never made them, but what's in the past is in the past, and I will never be able to change any of that. I can only hope for a better future, and see what tomorrow brings. Yes, I have a lot of advice for other people, but what I fail at [...]

April 15, 2013

tparham

Well, my weekend was pure hell. There were so many difficult challenges and stress that I dealt with over the weekend. They just made me want to scream. I just sometimes hate my life. Goodness, I sound so Bipolar, but I am medicated though. Thank goodness for that. I am not dependent on my medicine, but I don't know where I would be some days without it. My life is hard enough to deal with all of this bull crap.

So, my weekend was pure hell. I felt the urge to use all weekend. [...]

April 11, 2013

tparham

Well, today has already been hard. I have the most terrible urge to smoke again. It's horrible. I will not tell all of the drugs that I have done, because I am ashamed of myself. I don't want to feel judged, because of the fact that I have done hard drugs. I really want to get my life on track, but some days are so much worse than others. It becomes so stressful to deal with day to day things, but I know that's life. I really want to be something in this life, and I don't want to [...]

April 10, 2013

tparham

Well, I've been doing much better since the last time that I have been on here. It's been hard, but I'm doing much better. I'm proud of myself, which is something that I've never said before. I've always felt like such a failure on everything that I do that I didn't know what to do myself. I have no room to try and offer advice to anyone, except to not make the same mistakes that I have in my life. Learn from all of mine, because even though I'm getting my life [...]

March 22, 2013

tparham

It's really been a while since the last time that I have been on here. Before, I would get on here every day, but since I was bashed and talked down upon, and called a liar, I got off for a while. I just feel like I need people to talk to now. I have nobody to talk to. I've been in and out of trouble. I'm a horrible person. I've hit rock bottom. I feel like an utter failure. I feellike nobody wants to be there for me anymore. I just need people to talk to....