It's been one month since my dog passed away.  I am doing better now...still miss the old girl.

I appreciate the comments I received in my last diary posting.  She is out of painand in a better place where she can run and be her playful self.

Thanks for all the continued support....

I sadly lost my dog in her sleep Tuesday night.  I am in mourning right now, but I try to think of all the happy times I had with her for the past 13 years.  She was my pride and joy and she lightened up the days I had terrible depressions.

I know I could get another dog to replace her, it's actually too soon.  I am putting a collage of pictures of her together with tid bits of poetry I have written for her.  No one can ever replace this dog right now, but I know I will get over it.

Well, I had a bad day of depression a couple of weeks back.  It was extremely hard to pull out of it.  My poetry had a more somber tone to it and after reading it again, I ask myself did I really write this.

I felt as though I was being punished for something I didn't do and the urge of self mutliation popped into my head.  I eventually got someone in my doctor's office to calm me down, but the bleak days were getting worse.

I didn't want to do anything, but write.  I lost all interest in doing household things and that got neglected for a few days.

I am better now, but the only reason why I believe is that the sun is out more and when the time changes, I hopefully won't be in this rut.... 

 

It has been a month since my med "cocktail" has been adjusted.  One med the dose went lower, the second stayed the same, and the third was recently added.  The third is to help me sleep more soundly without any interuptions, but it makes me sleepy in the morning.  Going to ask P-Doc in October if we can either change med or lower this one down.  My mania has been under control, it's the damn depression that lurks it's eery head at the most worst time.  With the clocks changing soon, my depression is at worst.  I still journal and write my poetry, but of late it also has a somber tone.  All I can do is hang on for the time being 'til I go back to the doctor's.

I have been placed on a new "cocktail" of meds and they seem to working fairly well.  My P-Doc is going to see me in a month to see if there is any more adjusting he could do.  I hopenot, I adapt to changes fairly well.