I had been typing out my memories of experiences with my husband's episodes.  It recently occurred to me that I don't really need to any more.  I need to let it go.  

The past is past and can't be changed.  I have to believe that everything that happened had a reason.  I've heard that times of crisis are also an opportunity for the most growth as a person.  I know that I am a stronger and better person than I was two years ago.  I know that I could take care of myself if I had to, and I'm glad that I don't.

Having felt that my husband was lost has also made me appreciate him even more.  I have always loved him, but perhaps had taken him for granted at times.  It's important to respect that things, even precious things, can change.  It is so important to value the present.

So, I'm vowing to live for the now.  The past is over and can't be changed.  There is a reason things happened as they did.  No one can know the future and what it will bring.  Worrying about what might happen is useless.  

So, I'm going to have a great day, moment by moment.