I am enjoying my days off for X-mas break.  Lots of time to reflect and think about things, and get in touch with my feelings again.  I've realized that I haven't really overcome the shock and pain of what I've been going through these past 17 months.  I think later, I will journal about all the events that have led me to where I am today.  I need to get it out so that I can begin to let it go.

But for right now, my big concern is that my husband has another manic episode coming on.  He is talking faster and more.  Yesterday, he went to a kitchen supply store and bought some stuff.  It's all usable, but not anything that we really needed.  Just a little out of character for him.   Also, late last night, he decided to mop the floors in the kitchen and dining room.   Again, nice and helpful but a little odd.

 He also took a copy of  our daughter's movie, Phantom of the Opera, to his mother's so she can watch it.  This has me a little worried because right before his initial manic psychosis, he was obsessed with that movie.  He kept talking about the "hidden meaning" which really creeped us out.  He even wrote a letter to the director of the hospital about it.  (Luckily, I stalled him from mailing it).  He hasn't mentioned that movie in all this time since then, and it just seems strange that he wanted his mom to see it suddenly.

Maybe, hopefully, I'm reading too much into things.  I am so worried about getting caught off guard again that perhaps I'm watching too closely, putting motives on things that have none.  We are supposed to go out for dinner tonight, just the two of us, so maybe I'll get a better feel for things then.