This is just my daily ramblings of how I am feeling. http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/my-day-to-day-with-ptsd Sat, 25 May 2013 20:02:35 +0100 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/my-day-to-day-with-ptsd/a-much-needed-update So my last post was quite some time ago so let me fill you in. I was on a road to recovery and doing quite well until my aunt passed away March of 2012 and it sent me in a depression spiral, I lost my job, disconnected from my wife and kids again I was a mess to the point of suicidal thoughts. I had to increase my therapy sessions and was added Ativan along with the Zoloft. Here enters a friend along with my father who suggested I take an extreme step to get out and start getting my life back on [...] kmanlyst81 http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/my-day-to-day-with-ptsd/here-we-go-again-117956 <p>Well just when things were looking up a set back comes. I was driving down the road and was blindsided by a panic attack just threw me all of of whack,got light headed felt disconnected and dreamy. I might have to ask about upping my dose of trying a different med like Lexapro,not to mention the last few day my stomach has felt rather odd and my bowl movements have been strange too but Doc hasn&#39;t called me back yet to voice any concern so it may be nothing better make an appointment just [...] kmanlyst81 http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/my-day-to-day-with-ptsd/my-story-thus-far <p>Well it has been&nbsp;five months since I went to my first visit with my doctor who recommended me to a therapist for suspected PTSD. I was afraid at the first visit when the therapist and pyschologistoffered medication to help with the night terrors and reliving events and to bring down my anxiety,we have all heard the horror stories of medication and with my GAD and Hypochondria I was very reluctant to take the meds. I went a whole week just looking at the bottle trying to force my self to [...] kmanlyst81 http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/my-day-to-day-with-ptsd/square-one So here I am back at square one I felt like I was doing good until I had the issue a few weeks ago with the high heart rate and temp. Doc pulled me off of Zoloft for a week and now wants me to start backbut I now have the fear in my mind that the heart rate and temp were due to the meds. I got my CT scan back for my lymph nodes everything is clear except for some changes in the upper and lower part of&nbsp;my right lung doc said it looks like I had an infection but it should be clearing up in ab [...] kmanlyst81 http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/my-day-to-day-with-ptsd/big-day-today-109890 I had an appointment today with Dietitian and we agreed that I do need to lose some weight I am currently 200lbs when I should be around 165-170 so we set a diet plan in place and a plan for a workoutroutine. trying to do everything that I can to reverse all the years of damage from neglect. kmanlyst81 http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/my-day-to-day-with-ptsd/and-here-we-go <p>So it has been a while since my last update so here goes</p><p>&nbsp;I had a visit with my psychologist Thursday of last week and I am now on Zoloft 6mg for the first week and with the ultimate goalof getting on the 25mg pill with little issue and the doc wants me up to 100mg within a month or 2...I am to take it slow and see how i react to the the meds small problem is with my Hypochondria I&nbsp; think anytime i take the pill I am having a reaction to the meds, just have to keep an eye on w [...] kmanlyst81 http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/my-day-to-day-with-ptsd/what-a-great-day-107721 Finally got my dentist appointment out of the way..got in the char he hooked up the IV waited a few and he put the meds in told me i would feel it all I got out was wow..next thing i know I am in the car going home. I can say without a doubt my fear of the dentist is now gone. on another note I wasn&#39;t able to get my Therapy session in she was double booked so I go in on the 7th. it feels good to over come a fear i can see this as a turning point to many more great things. kmanlyst81 http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/my-day-to-day-with-ptsd/not-my-best-week So this week has gone straight to the dogs. First my oral surgery got rescheduled because of out babysitters lazy husband forced my wife to leave and she wasn&#39;t supposed to and then today my therapysession gets rescheduled because the lady double booked me and another person. It&#39;s times like these that make me wonder if anyone really cares. kmanlyst81 http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/my-day-to-day-with-ptsd/why-cant-i-get-my-mind-off-of-this So today is going rather well except one thing. I can&#39;t keep my self busy enough to keep my mind off of my up coming oral surgery,my wife keeps telling me I will be okay nothing will go wrong. Butthe seed has already been planted the moment I went looking online and read an article about a 13yr old girl that just died in the beginning of the year from complicatons while having her braces and 1 tooth removed and then there was a site that had&nbsp; a list of all the deaths in the last 2 years [...] kmanlyst81 http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/my-day-to-day-with-ptsd/worst-day-everperiod Woke today not sure why I felt like this but have been feeling an Impending doom all day and the fear is I have Sepsis...I kow it&#39;s silly to think this way but my teeth are in enough bad shape to make me fear this and also the fact i did a big no no and was reading about statistics after oral surgery and there were a few reports of death from sepsis.....UGH!!! i hate this I never used to worry about these things as a kid! kmanlyst81 http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/my-day-to-day-with-ptsd/having-a-bad-day-106528 So I woke up today thought I was feeling okay it started and haven&#39;t felt good since,I feel like I am in a dream world again was having nightmares last night about my oral surgery coming up on the22nd. I really wish I could switch off all these fears that keep running through my head,doesn&#39;t help that my body doesn&#39;t feel like mine right now. Here is to hoping my day gets better. kmanlyst81 http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/my-day-to-day-with-ptsd/worried-and-cant-sleep So here it is 5:10am and I can&#39;t sleep even though I have tried. I am too worried to sleep today I have to go to get some teeth pulled and I am afraid what will happen when they go to put me under. I keep fearing that I won&#39;t wake up or I might die while I am under and I will never get to see my children again. I hate fearing things like this it&#39;s to the point that I fear most common medicine (tylenol,ibuprofine.ect) because I fear I will get one of the many life threatening side eff [...] kmanlyst81 http://www.mdjunction.com/diary/my-day-to-day-with-ptsd/first-days-after-my-diagnosis I woke this morning feel great,took my shower,make breakfast for the kids,checked my normal websites...and then I had to go to the store and for some reason when I got into the car a wave of anxiety washedover me.I started breathing fast my heart started racing I got light headed,but shopping needed to be done so I went. Well the further I got from home the worse it got and I wanted to turn back to go home,but again the shopping needed to be done.By the time I get to the store I am shaking feeli [...] kmanlyst81