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1magicman"Before i found MDJ i was in the deepest darkest part of my life after my abduction. I wanted to feel safe. I wanted that sense of being a normal person.Finding MDJ and the people with in it has steered me down the correct path into the light of hope. The feeling of hope that i was not alone,the feeling of hope of understanding,and the feeling of hope to move on. I never give up hope." (1magicman)

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kmanlyst81 This is just my daily ramblings of how I am feeling.

My story thus far

Oct 11 2011

Well it has been five months since I went to my first visit with my doctor who recommended me to a therapist for suspected PTSD. I was afraid at the first visit when the therapist and pyschologistoffered medication to help with the night terrors and reliving events and to bring down my anxiety,we have all heard the horror stories of medication and with my GAD and Hypochondria I was very reluctant to take the meds. I went a whole week just looking at the bottle trying to force my self to take the first dose but just couldn't bring my self to do it because the fear was overwhelming. One day I was sitting on the couch and I had the worst panic attack that I have had and with out a second thought I walked over to the pill bottle and opened it, and was the best choice I had ever made. Today while on the medication I am happier and more sociable, I am starting to get back into the hobbies I loved and spending time with the wife and kids outside of the house. I still have attacks and they feel  like the come on stronger than they used to but as it was explined to me the reason they feel worse is beacue I am not living in fear of the attacks all the time,guess it will take some getting used to but hey to be where I am now from what I was five months ago I'll live with it. I know I still have a long road to travel and alot of emotional and mental things to deal with and the therapy sessions will help that but counting my blessings for what I given back and thought I would never have again,I will gladly travel that road.

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