My Black Symphony

Wife went to work, its our anniversary today. I drew her a card that has Eeyore & Piglet (piglet hugging eeyore and has a heart shaped balloon) with some grass and flowers etc

We didn';t really do anything for our anniversary, on top of that i feel alone. Im actually home alone now..

She said that next week we are going to celebrate our anniversary. At least at 12am she woke me up from my sleep to tell me happy anniversary. At least that was something, made me feel good

But most of the day, ive had this odd feeling of being alone, and my stomache bloated like fish-bowl. Its the meds i am on i think that are making me feel this way. They gave me also Lorazepam for my anxiety, which is to help from the sterioid they give me. As i already have Anxiety attacks with out the sterioids (Dexamethasone).

I dunno right now im in this state of feeling why am i alive? I shouldnt feel this way, but i cant stop... i feel helpless at times

My stomache feels like it has shrunken, i get full off a bottle of water with out really trying. But i feel so thirsty still but if i keep drinking i feel like i will explode